Merry Christmas everyone!
I am sorry but I am not so PC that I am going to call it “happy holidays”, or the even more unsexy “Season Greetings”…
“Season Greeting”!? WTF.
No I not am sorry to the guy whom I offended on the street by saying “Merry Christmas” to him, when I (or he) bumped into me and then felt offended that I said these unholy words – he then felt the need to yell back at me just to tell me that I should not force-feed my Christmas down his throat.
Someone got charcoal for Christmas I guess.
Anyway… a minor drama on my side as well, because two weeks ago I found out that the folder with all my half baked blog posts were gone, DELETED!! Missing. Major drama, and I panicked by looking everywhere for it, but it were gone to the eternal trashcan in cyber heaven.
Speaking about drama.
S…. finally got to me by insulting my breasts, and I immediately ended up feeling less confident about my body and began to overanalyze internally what she meant.
About two months ago I Googled “Spain”, “what can a lesbian do for fun in Barcelona” after I have been twitter stalking a German who is living there, and instead of asking her directly about what is so interesting about living in that place, then I asked the Google oracle instead. Much better than if this so-called cyber stalker were to ask someone that she didn’t know, about why they moved from Germany to Spain and what besides the weather and food could be so interesting about it – yes my homofomo were working overtime.
Just imagine if I missed out on something very interesting!! How would I be able to live with it??
Unfortunately Google decided to throw a tantrum and said to itself “nah, not gonna happen today.” and gave me completely unrelated links to what I wanted and needed to see. Instead I found a link to a video about a lesbian wedding proposal done on the Camino and forgot all about what in the world might happen in Barcelona. (If Google is confused about what I search for, then it will either suggest lesbian wedding videos, or cat videos to me)
You should read their blog http://seeyousoonmom.com/double-proposal/ and see the video too. (just listen to these adorable (and sexy) accents!)
WARNING! You will lose a few hours of your life by clicking on the link to the blog or video that will make you want to walk the Camino with your miss perfect.
Once again I got lured to spend several hours reading about that Camino de santiago walk.
Me and S… had previously been planning to do the Camino together, but we (I) ended up backing out from it because – bedbugs!! – and well.. who is crazy enough to walk 800++ km in 30 days?? I had lots of reasons not to do it, and I guess just as many reasons to go on the Camino and make out with S…. along the way.
Or something like that.
When we talked about the Camino walk, we usually ended up discussing about where to stay and especially about what to pack to great lengths and how much we should bring with us besides the essentials (iPad, iPhone, and pads). S… found this packing list that put both of our own lists to shame, when it came to reducing weight, as (I can’t remember her name now) had made it an art to plan her packing down to single grams for the Camino walk.
Anyone who include and measure 6 gram condoms and a 2 gram SD Card in their packing list, then they deserve to be named the uncontested winner of the most detailed (and maybe slightly anal) packing list ever.
I have to say, that when I am out on assignments, then my camera gear alone would end up being heavier than this packing list. But of course the list is also very specialized for a crazy long trekking adventure.
But when we were talking about the items on the list and what each of us would change, then I made an offhand remark that I especially liked that the original author of the list included Anita sports bras in her packing list as I would probably have been choosing the same for a trip like that.
S…’s immediately reply were that if anything, then I could just skip them and just travel without because I could then save 116 grams of weight, and she believed that it wouldn’t be essential for me to use sports bras for a walk like that (and that she by the way wouldn’t mind seeing me walk in just a t-shirt).
It would probably also make me very popular and reminded her about that we wouldn’t be all alone.
In the back of my mind I were *hm* “what in the world did she mean by that? I am not exactly running around with two mosquito bites!” Was that a hint that she didn’t like my breasts and that she thought that I were too small on top??? Arrgh drama!
I am actually quite happy with the size of my breasts and have very few complaints about my body in general (you know, besides the usual), but have once in a while thought about how would it be with something, you know, slightly larger, up there and if I should get myself “fixed” up. Not that I would ever do something about it, but you know.. sometimes these thoughts “would I be a happier person with larger breasts” do come up in my mind.
Happier? Nah I guess not. More popular with the ladies? Absolutely!
In the last years I have gone through some weight losses and somehow gains, that not always immediately settled in the chest area when I gained weight again, so by myself I have felt slightly insecure about my body image and how I generally looked.
At the same time, there are maybe 5-6 people that really can get to me and that I would listen to when it came to my self-image and body, and S…. are one of them, especially when I were completely unprepared for a comment like that. S… is a person who normally NEVER say anything about anyone’s bodies so when she said it, then I took it very personal and I ended up reflecting too much about what she said as if it had come from almost anyone else then I would have told them to go stick it.
After a few weeks with self doubt and nights where my confidence just got lower and lower, then I finally pulled myself together and confronted S… about her comment.
She reacted with complete surprise and shock from her side and wondered why I took it that personal, as she felt that I hardly ever took anything personal.