Taiwan first in Asia to accept same-sex marriage!!

The moment we all have been waiting for has come. The first country in Asia to accept same-sex marriages is here!

And of course it is NOT Singapore! (not a surprise to anyone… right??)

The Taiwanese constitutional court declared earlier today (Wednesday May 24th) that same-sex couples have the rights to legally marry and should be given the same legal rights as heterosexual couples currently got, and that the legal system have two years to implement and amend the necessary laws to make this effective.

You can read a slightly longer article about the rulings on Reuters public site here.

From what I can understand from a contact then the Taiwanese immigration authorities will immediately begin to make it easier for overseas married couples to get their spouses into the country when their partner is posted to the country, therefore giving them the same rights as heterosexual expat couples who are relocating to Taiwan for professional reasons. These restrictions should be eased already late this year, or early next year.

Singapore have in the past years gone the other way, and restricted immigration for same-sex couples, so it will in the future become more attractive for highly skilled gay couples to take on assignments in Taiwan and skip Singapore, making it more difficult for Singapore to attract skilled people to the country – something that in the past two years already have been an issue for many companies in Singapore, who have cited the country’s regulations as an issue.

The Taiwanese Tourism Bureau, expect that this ruling will be very positive for the tourism industry, who expect that  gay travelers visiting Taiwan will double in the coming years. Gay tourism for US citizens alone is estimated to 65 billion a year and European gay tourists spend in the area of 50bn EUR annually.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Someone wants to kill me because I (according to them) love the wrong person

Yesterday were a horrible day to get through for me.

The day literally began when I took my brothers and sisters kids in to see probably the worst movie in the universe, The Angry Birds Movie.

Quite a lot could be said about that movie but when they across all ages either by facial expression or flat out said that they would have preferred a trip to McDonalds and the game to their tablets instead of the movie, then I knew that this would not be the day that my nephews and nieces would fondly remember with me – their awesome aunt.

Not something that I wanted to keep as a happy memory either.

This would be more like a “note to self day”

When I came back home, after having dropped off the little monster at where they now belong, then a even more horrifying news were brought to my attention.

More than 50 people dead, and 53 people wounded in a gay club in Orlando, Florida.

I had felt the phone buzz while I were in the cinema and didn’t take it out to look at all the messages before I came home. So coming home to see the breaking news across all news channels, tweets and emails that asked if I knew anything or knew anyone in that area that might have been to Pulse, the nightclub where the gunman shot and killed so many people, were incredibly shocking.

I could not let go of the news. I needed to find out more. Who did it? Why did that crazy person attack so many people? Why did he attack someone who haven’t done any harm to him? Why did he attack a gay bar???!

I could not help feeling a lot of sadness, but quite a lot of anger that made feel that I wanted to troll someone HARD. I wanted to vent my anger and frustrations after someone else. I felt like I wanted to scream at someone.

But I also felt fear.

I can take that people don’t agree with me. Many don’t, so that is just more of my normal.

But that someone wants to kill me just because I according to them love the wrong person. That is just wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong!!

To me the LGBT movement is not about exclusion. That is all about inclusion and acceptance. Acceptance to love another adult person, acceptance across color, race, religion….and… sexuality. Especially sexuality.

I don’t hate heterosexual’s. In face most of my friends and colleagues are straight – or straight-ish and that does not make them better or worse people than me. That just makes them what they are just like I am what I am regardless about whoever I am now kissing, or share the bed with at the end of the day.

So that someone could end up hating me, that someone can hate someone so much, just because that person loves someone of their own gender. To hate someone they have never met or never exchanged a word with. That is just too stunning

“You are gay and you must die now” (evil laughter I guess)

This is what that person were thinking. This is what others are thinking about me, about others like me.

I thought about all that through the evening and night. I wanted answers. So in the middle of the xyz night, I ended up opening the facebook page “We are against Pink Dot in Singapore”. Mainly because I wanted to scream at someone – or at least troll them and post pictures of gay porn on their page.

I looked at page after page of vile and shit that where shared and thrown after people like me on these pages.

But instead of feeling angry at all these people I ended up feeling sorry for them. Sorry for them, because it is clear that none of them – or actually very few of them have a gay friend. They don’t know what it is to be carrying this “secret” or being gay. They don’t know that they statistically have at least one gay or bi relative. They don’t know that they might be talking about their good friend or colleague. They don’t realize it.

The only these people see is people who are not like them. They see something strange that they don’t understand and in the end fear. All these posts, all that hate, all that disgust. Everything is fear of the unknown. Fear of what they don’t understand. Fear of something that they don’t get. But it is also fear of exclusion. That there are something that they in their own loneliness and solitude can’t be a part of. 

To them the Pink Dot is like a red cloth, a symbol of all their fears combined.

So I ended up pitying them instead.

 

The post should then have ended now. But there are always someone who is going to take one more step further than the rest. In the gay community there are always someone who are gayer than the rest.  You will always see one diva or drama queen who top them all, a butch who can’t be butch enough, or the femme princess who can’t live without her branded goods just so she can show that she can be a good gold star lesbian and still be fashionable.  

But in a group who preach hate and exclusion where do they go next? The next step for them is not love. It’s not inclusion. The next step for them is violence, and that is exactly what happened next.

This guy. This.. I don’t really know if I should give him the pleasure of saying his name. But this guy then end up preaching to kill everyone at Pink Dot – on the same day that more than 50 people got killed in a gay club in the United States even.

This guy is not some random person who only work in a random non violent service job. No this is a person who in the past have had military training and aparently did very well. Is a reserve officer and through the Singapore police have easy access to weapons. This is a person who have been trained in killing other people, and this person knowingly and very publicly state that he wants to kill people like me.

To me that is more scary that anything else because this is a sign that we won’t be safe in Singapore and I wonder if the Singaporean government, MY OWN government, will protect us from someone like that.

Note (June 14th, 2016)
The Singapore Police media contact reached out to highlight that the person is not a Police National Serviceman although he have been depicted in uniform on several occasions.

You can read their full public statement on their Facebook page here.

Since I have been bashing IKEA so much “lately”

So here is a video of a little light IKEA competition.

Who do you think will be the fastests to assemble IKEA furniture? Gays or Lesbians?

A little hint and a shameless self promotion. I would be able kick all of their behinds when it comes to competitions like this one. Besides, I also hate to lose so I would be obsessed with trying to win a competition similar to this one and would have no patience with anyone messing around with me – unless it ended in a makeout session of course.

 

On another note S… beat me in Wordfeud this evening, so not talking to her for a few minutes.

I did end up claiming a moral victory for these words, so I felt that I could call this game a draw and not a humiliating loss after all. (no the word to the left did not spell “clit”).

Wordfeud

 

 

You really need to read this blog post by the Chiongs

The Chiongs, whom I am a big fan of, continue to write some of the most amazing posts that have ever come out of Singapore. Their blog is, if anyone were to ask me, one the most important voices in South Asia at the moment.

So what makes the Chiongs so special to me? Well, the only they – or rather Liv/Olivia write about is their Singaporean twosome life as a same-sex couple with a young daughter. This might sound boring and awful common to some, what it really should be, but this is Singapore and living in a same-sex married relationship with a child is not an every-day relationship. To many Singaporeans that is just not common at all, and is something that too many Singaporeans have some very wild ideas about what really is.

The (unfortunate) reality is that a same-sex relationship have just the same issues as the more conventional relationships. You know the relationships where there are one of each gender in. The Chiongs blog is a perfect example that they, we, are just as normally boring when it comes to it. We work, we sleep, we watch Netflix in bed – and yes once in a while we have sex too, and through IVF (or magic beans and comfortable Birkenstocks) we have children together too.

The Chiongs through their blog is just so perfect in educating the average Singaporean about what is means to be a same-sex couple and that there really is nothing to fear from someone like us (no really, it’s true. Nothing to be scared about at all) and I hope that other couples would come out and tell their stories as well because we need every voice to speak up -or something like this will happen.

Liv wrote back in October about an issue that they have to go through in doing something as what should be one of the most simple things in life for a couple with a child. That is to find a kindergarten. But where they then are met with questions if that is even legal for them, and that the kindergarten first needed to check with MOE (Ministry of Education) in Singapore before they could let them know if it were legal for them to accept a child of a same sex couple into the kindergarten.

. . . .

You should read their blog post here as it is a very interesting read, and it makes me wonder why I am so eager in getting pregnant myself, and why I still have the idea and somehow expect that my children should have the opportunity to grow up in Singapore – or at least make sure that they spend some years there.

I mean is Singapore really a viable option for same-sex couples who want children and a normal life?

 

 

 

Sexually confused man from the “We are against Pink Dot” group created a petition against Adam Lambert to get his attention

Yet again a Singaporean male who don’t know how to express his true feelings are lashing out because he don’t know how to express himself properly.

A long time active member of the “We are against Pink Dot” Facebook group, where he behind his computer previously have been very active in attacking the Pinkdot event and out gays in Singapore, created a petition against Adam Lambert, so he could get his attention.

Adam Lambert, so hot that straight men question their own sexuality.

Adam Lambert, so hot that straight men question their own sexuality.

Yes, we know that hot man Adam Lambert is unreachable to many, but there are better ways to get someone’s attention. Especially if you are that deep in the closet.

The online petition that were launched. Demand that the organizers remove the gay pop star Adam Lambert who were supposed to headline a New Year’s Eve countdown concert in Singapore, and which would be aired live on television.

The petition, which is addressed to concert organizer Mediacorp, the government, sponsors and partners, has garnered more than 15,000 signatures since it was launched and described the singer as a ‘performer fraught with controversy even in his home country’, it lists the American Idol has having ‘engaged in sexualized acts, including kissing a male band member on stage’ and ‘featur(ing) female showgirls and male strippers performing acts of indecency.’

Another petition have been launched in support of Adam Lambert, who likewise have more than 15,000 signatures. Both groups accuse each other of fraud and using double entries, or paying for getting fake signatures.

Adam Lambert is at all not unknown to Singapore and have previously been performing several times at completely sold out venues for several thousands of Singaporeans, making the next event that he is going to perform a rather ordinary event for him.

I mean any men who would turn gay by seeing him perform must already have been infected by his hotness, so one more event can’t harm anyone else…. right?

But what is confusing about this is that Singapore’s media scene is full of out, proud and very popular gay, lesbian and trans performers, and they have never been attacked by the “We are against Pink Dot”, or the other religious crazies that Singaporeans have to deal with, so the only conclusion is that [edited out on request] (the creator of the petition) are having identity issues that he have a difficult time with, and for that he have my sympathy.

“We are against Pink Dot” is an contradiction on its own, as the members there actively spend several hours a day discussing LGBT activities in Singapore and abroad, actually they do it so often that many of them are more informed about what is happening in the LGBT community that I am.

Yes, I feel slightly insulted about that. So I will go out and infect some straight women with my gayness because of them…..

I can try right?

Maybe I should just start a petition against them for being more informed that I am, because it is grossly insulting that I have to look at an anti gay group to find out what is going on in the LGBT circles.

Okay…. Irony and sarcasm aside…..

Why do they spend so much time about something that does not concern them and they clearly are crazy scared about??

What is the next? Should Singapore screen travelers and entertainers for their sexual orientation? Should visitors to certain suburbs declare their sexuality? or should we just get it over with and get our sexual orientation labeled on our IC in the future?

Do I need to mention that our IC is also PINK!!

LGBT Conspiracy anyone??

How would you answer these questions?

As the self established go-to lesbian guru of all things Singaporean lesbian, I were back in July (might have been June) contacted by a student from Monsters Under The Bed (www.mutb.com.sg) who were writing an essay about homosexuality and asked me if I could help her with the following questions:

1. Have you heard about the legalization of gay marriage in United States? If so, what are you opinions on it?

2. What do you think the consequences are of the legalization of gay marriage in the States / how have people reacted to it?

3. What are the advantages / disadvantages of legalizing gay marriage?

4. Why do you think there isn’t any country in Asia that has legalized gay marriage? Do you think they should?

5. If the Singapore government legalized gay marriage, what do you think the consequences would be?

6. Would you recommend the legalization of gay marriage in Singapore? Why or why not?

How would you answer them?

 

I have to admit that when I first got the email, I wondered if it were genuine and serious. Even S… said that this might be a scam of some sort but I looked into it, and yes sure there were a school called Monsters Under The Bed, and yes, the teacher who were CC on the email were real enough too, so I replied to them both that I would be more than happy to help and that she could ask me about everything and anything that she needed answers to.

While communicating with her, I realized that I never really thought much about who read my blog. How old my readers were and who they are. I mean the genuine ones that didn’t find my blog after googling for “Naked lesbian panties Singapore”, or something much worse than that.

I am really amazed about what people Google for and guess that I somehow have been sheltering myself from the sick things that people use the internet for.

But after communicating with her and a few others who have written me over the last months, then I came to the realization that many of my readers are 14-17 years old and are having troubles getting information about their sexuality when they genuinely are looking for answers, because the world around them is not able to or willing to help them when they have questions about homosexuality and why they have strong romantic feelings for someone of their own sex.

In the last month I got two more emails from young Singaporeans who are confused about their sexuality or is quite certain about their sexuality but is scared that their relatives and peers are going to find out about them.

I get about 2 to 3 emails a month from girls or women who are in the closet and are reaching out for contact because they need someone to share their feelings with. To most outsiders this might not be many, but it is unfortunately only a single drop in the large sea of closeted women in Singapore, who is scared to reveal their feelings and sexuality to anyone, and today I got yet another one.

They all tell the same story.

They are scared or confused and they have no one to really share their feelings with. But they all long for someone to share and connect with.

To tell them what to do, to help and guide them with their questions. Most of them just need to hear that it is more than okay to have these feelings, and that there is nothing wrong with them.

It makes me sad and it also makes me angry that it is not possible for them to go to the people that they love and trust when they have questions like this, and I want to give everyone a big hug and say that it is scary right now, but things will and can be better.

But the reality is that Singapore is just not a nice place to realize that you are gay and different from those around you. The government is not interested to deal with it. The school system is not equipped to deal with it. The teachers – or most of them freak out if a student try to reach out to them because they need help to deal with their emotions. A few, very few teachers give these children the support they need, but while doing so, they risk their career and could end up on the chopping block for being a decent human being. The religious community in Singapore not only freak out, they will most likely try to do an exorcism on those who reach out for help, and then they will out them and freak out some more.

And Singapore is a country where religion are strong and have too much to say in general.

The social system in Singapore is horrible when it comes to helping young adults who have questions about their sexuality and emotions.

But every month someone new reach out and ask a stranger on the internet for advice on how to deal with life because they are gay and can’t tell anyone close to them about it.

Girls, ladies, women. Remember you are NOT alone in life. You are not alone in Singapore, and you all deserve a big, big hug.