Someone wants to kill me because I (according to them) love the wrong person

Yesterday were a horrible day to get through for me.

The day literally began when I took my brothers and sisters kids in to see probably the worst movie in the universe, The Angry Birds Movie.

Quite a lot could be said about that movie but when they across all ages either by facial expression or flat out said that they would have preferred a trip to McDonalds and the game to their tablets instead of the movie, then I knew that this would not be the day that my nephews and nieces would fondly remember with me – their awesome aunt.

Not something that I wanted to keep as a happy memory either.

This would be more like a “note to self day”

When I came back home, after having dropped off the little monster at where they now belong, then a even more horrifying news were brought to my attention.

More than 50 people dead, and 53 people wounded in a gay club in Orlando, Florida.

I had felt the phone buzz while I were in the cinema and didn’t take it out to look at all the messages before I came home. So coming home to see the breaking news across all news channels, tweets and emails that asked if I knew anything or knew anyone in that area that might have been to Pulse, the nightclub where the gunman shot and killed so many people, were incredibly shocking.

I could not let go of the news. I needed to find out more. Who did it? Why did that crazy person attack so many people? Why did he attack someone who haven’t done any harm to him? Why did he attack a gay bar???!

I could not help feeling a lot of sadness, but quite a lot of anger that made feel that I wanted to troll someone HARD. I wanted to vent my anger and frustrations after someone else. I felt like I wanted to scream at someone.

But I also felt fear.

I can take that people don’t agree with me. Many don’t, so that is just more of my normal.

But that someone wants to kill me just because I according to them love the wrong person. That is just wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong!!

To me the LGBT movement is not about exclusion. That is all about inclusion and acceptance. Acceptance to love another adult person, acceptance across color, race, religion….and… sexuality. Especially sexuality.

I don’t hate heterosexual’s. In face most of my friends and colleagues are straight – or straight-ish and that does not make them better or worse people than me. That just makes them what they are just like I am what I am regardless about whoever I am now kissing, or share the bed with at the end of the day.

So that someone could end up hating me, that someone can hate someone so much, just because that person loves someone of their own gender. To hate someone they have never met or never exchanged a word with. That is just too stunning

“You are gay and you must die now” (evil laughter I guess)

This is what that person were thinking. This is what others are thinking about me, about others like me.

I thought about all that through the evening and night. I wanted answers. So in the middle of the xyz night, I ended up opening the facebook page “We are against Pink Dot in Singapore”. Mainly because I wanted to scream at someone – or at least troll them and post pictures of gay porn on their page.

I looked at page after page of vile and shit that where shared and thrown after people like me on these pages.

But instead of feeling angry at all these people I ended up feeling sorry for them. Sorry for them, because it is clear that none of them – or actually very few of them have a gay friend. They don’t know what it is to be carrying this “secret” or being gay. They don’t know that they statistically have at least one gay or bi relative. They don’t know that they might be talking about their good friend or colleague. They don’t realize it.

The only these people see is people who are not like them. They see something strange that they don’t understand and in the end fear. All these posts, all that hate, all that disgust. Everything is fear of the unknown. Fear of what they don’t understand. Fear of something that they don’t get. But it is also fear of exclusion. That there are something that they in their own loneliness and solitude can’t be a part of. 

To them the Pink Dot is like a red cloth, a symbol of all their fears combined.

So I ended up pitying them instead.

 

The post should then have ended now. But there are always someone who is going to take one more step further than the rest. In the gay community there are always someone who are gayer than the rest.  You will always see one diva or drama queen who top them all, a butch who can’t be butch enough, or the femme princess who can’t live without her branded goods just so she can show that she can be a good gold star lesbian and still be fashionable.  

But in a group who preach hate and exclusion where do they go next? The next step for them is not love. It’s not inclusion. The next step for them is violence, and that is exactly what happened next.

This guy. This.. I don’t really know if I should give him the pleasure of saying his name. But this guy then end up preaching to kill everyone at Pink Dot – on the same day that more than 50 people got killed in a gay club in the United States even.

This guy is not some random person who only work in a random non violent service job. No this is a person who in the past have had military training and aparently did very well. Is a reserve officer and through the Singapore police have easy access to weapons. This is a person who have been trained in killing other people, and this person knowingly and very publicly state that he wants to kill people like me.

To me that is more scary that anything else because this is a sign that we won’t be safe in Singapore and I wonder if the Singaporean government, MY OWN government, will protect us from someone like that.

Note (June 14th, 2016)
The Singapore Police media contact reached out to highlight that the person is not a Police National Serviceman although he have been depicted in uniform on several occasions.

You can read their full public statement on their Facebook page here.

Miriam is into women and is not allowed to engage in relationship conversations with her colleagues

Where is the line between innocent contact and sexual harassment in the workplace? Miriam found out the hard way when she were accused of sexual harassment at her place of work.

Miriam, 29, is a lesbian and last year, her sexuality suddenly became an issue at her workplace after she had touched a female colleagues hand and was suddenly accused of sexual harassment because of this incident.

Miriam had seen her colleague as a confidant and only seen the touch as an innocent touch without a sexual thought in mind when they talked about their relationships. To her it were an emphatic gesture that were meant as a mean of emotional support and not in any way of communicating sexual interest at all.

But after this episode her sexuality suddenly became a problem at her workplace and her team leader demanded that she did not participate in personal conversations with her colleagues any longer. Something that she felt were crossing several boundaries, since she and her colleagues used to talk about their personal life’s daily, and that it were an integrated part of their work day.

Miriam were happy about her job at a retail store at Vivo City, a shopping mall in Singapore. A company she had been working with for several years and generally felt that she had been well treated and in the past also worked at their other locations around in Singapore. She had never concealed the fact that she had a girlfriend and that she were lesbian to her colleagues or superiors. It never felt that she had to limit herself or hide her sexuality while she worked because it weren’t something that came up negatively and she felt liked and accepted where she worked.

It therefore came as a huge shock to her when she suddenly were accused of having violated a colleague and were called into her manager’s office to discuss a “sensitive situation.”, where she were told by her manager that a colleague had felt physically and verbally sexually assaulted by Miriam and had accused her of sexual harassment.

“I was told that I should have touched my colleagues hand a little too affectionate and in the wrong way, and that three other colleagues felt that I had looked at them wrongly in the backroom of the store”.

While talking to her manager, Miriam were told that she no longer were allowed to participate in any personal conversations with her colleagues, especially of any that related to relationship matters and that she should walk away if any of her other colleagues began to discuss their personal relationships while she were near them. Her manager also stressed to Miriam that colleagues do not touch each other in any way whatsoever.

“My manager said that it had nothing to do with the fact that I liked women. But I think it had everything to do with it” said Miriam.

She later found out that the accusation of sexual harassment came from her very close colleague that she had known for years and that the colleague also had told the manager that three other women in the department also felt harassed, but that the manager haven’t directly confirmed this on her own.

Miriam and her colleague had been good friends and close colleagues for some time, they had often lunch together and seen each other outside work as well. Her colleague had even been to her home and met her partner at least twice before in the past, so things between them quickly became very familiar and they had often talked about private matters together both at work and outside work. Her colleague had more than once curiously asked into Miriam’s sexuality and at the same time expresses that she weren’t happy in her marriage and often thought of leaving her husband.

“I asked at one point whether she considered whether she were into women or felt attracted to women, but she answered ‘no’ to that” said Miriam, who at the same time stressed that there had never been anything but friendly feelings between them as colleagues.

The accusation of sexual harassment ends in a sick leave for Miriam and she end up asking if she could be transferred because she didn’t feel welcome there any longer and felt really bad about the whole incident and felt unfairly treated by both her colleague and manager.

 

“No raised eyebrows if I were heterosexual”

Her other colleagues whom she were told, that they should have felt that Miriam should have looked at them wrongly  in the backroom of her workplace, never acknowledged to have been part of the accusation of sexual harassment when she confronted and asked them about it, and Miriam feels convinced that if she had been heterosexual and had behaved in exactly the same way then neither her colleague or manager would have raised an eyebrow.

“I’m more careful at my new workplace. When we make fun and joke with one another, I am always a little nervous and think, uh, oh, I don’t hope they perceive anything I’ve said in the wrong way”.

Miriam is not her real name and she wants to remain anonymous. She confided in me through a number of emails and conversations from August to November 2015 where I got to know about her story. I know about her workplace in Vivo City and her new place of work, and have been able to confirm the existence of several of her colleagues and manager that she named while telling me her story.

Can you be out at your workplace? Are you able to be fully open about your relationship to another woman, or do you feel that you need to limit yourself compared to your heterosexual colleagues?

 

 

Sexually confused man from the “We are against Pink Dot” group created a petition against Adam Lambert to get his attention

Yet again a Singaporean male who don’t know how to express his true feelings are lashing out because he don’t know how to express himself properly.

A long time active member of the “We are against Pink Dot” Facebook group, where he behind his computer previously have been very active in attacking the Pinkdot event and out gays in Singapore, created a petition against Adam Lambert, so he could get his attention.

Adam Lambert, so hot that straight men question their own sexuality.

Adam Lambert, so hot that straight men question their own sexuality.

Yes, we know that hot man Adam Lambert is unreachable to many, but there are better ways to get someone’s attention. Especially if you are that deep in the closet.

The online petition that were launched. Demand that the organizers remove the gay pop star Adam Lambert who were supposed to headline a New Year’s Eve countdown concert in Singapore, and which would be aired live on television.

The petition, which is addressed to concert organizer Mediacorp, the government, sponsors and partners, has garnered more than 15,000 signatures since it was launched and described the singer as a ‘performer fraught with controversy even in his home country’, it lists the American Idol has having ‘engaged in sexualized acts, including kissing a male band member on stage’ and ‘featur(ing) female showgirls and male strippers performing acts of indecency.’

Another petition have been launched in support of Adam Lambert, who likewise have more than 15,000 signatures. Both groups accuse each other of fraud and using double entries, or paying for getting fake signatures.

Adam Lambert is at all not unknown to Singapore and have previously been performing several times at completely sold out venues for several thousands of Singaporeans, making the next event that he is going to perform a rather ordinary event for him.

I mean any men who would turn gay by seeing him perform must already have been infected by his hotness, so one more event can’t harm anyone else…. right?

But what is confusing about this is that Singapore’s media scene is full of out, proud and very popular gay, lesbian and trans performers, and they have never been attacked by the “We are against Pink Dot”, or the other religious crazies that Singaporeans have to deal with, so the only conclusion is that [edited out on request] (the creator of the petition) are having identity issues that he have a difficult time with, and for that he have my sympathy.

“We are against Pink Dot” is an contradiction on its own, as the members there actively spend several hours a day discussing LGBT activities in Singapore and abroad, actually they do it so often that many of them are more informed about what is happening in the LGBT community that I am.

Yes, I feel slightly insulted about that. So I will go out and infect some straight women with my gayness because of them…..

I can try right?

Maybe I should just start a petition against them for being more informed that I am, because it is grossly insulting that I have to look at an anti gay group to find out what is going on in the LGBT circles.

Okay…. Irony and sarcasm aside…..

Why do they spend so much time about something that does not concern them and they clearly are crazy scared about??

What is the next? Should Singapore screen travelers and entertainers for their sexual orientation? Should visitors to certain suburbs declare their sexuality? or should we just get it over with and get our sexual orientation labeled on our IC in the future?

Do I need to mention that our IC is also PINK!!

LGBT Conspiracy anyone??

Turkish police attack Istanbul gay pride with tear gas and rubber bullets

Vice News just posted a must see video from Istanbuls gay pride that were held last weekend.

Istanbuls pride have been held without any brutality from the police for the last 13 years, but this year the police needed to catch up on something and went crazy.

See the video above.

Huffington Post wrote about it too.

 

Is it morally okay that gay haters in Singapore attack children of same-sex couples?

We are now a few days away from Pink Dot and I am seriously pissed!

As I mentioned before we have in Singapore a small but very hateful group who feel entitled and righteous to attack everyone and anyone that does not conform to their own narrow minded world view. That is anyone who is living within the LGBTQA sphere in or around Singapore.

And now they found a new victim to attack.

Or said in another way.

They just realized that lesbian couples can have children together. Initially they were baffled by that idea. How did that compute? Huh? Two women with a child?? They – were – stunned! Wa! In Singapore!!?

I guess that things like IVF and other means of artificial insemination are mostly unknown to them.

I am not saying that that group is the sum of the Singaporean intellectual elite, actually they are most likely very far from it.

The group recently hit a new low point when they decided to attack a little girl and her two (wonderful) parents, because they not only dared to be so brave that they are living in Singapore as an all too normal family, with the small exception that they are a lesbian couple, with everyday boring issues. But then the couple even dared to blog about it in a way, so even a blind person could see that same-sex couples with children is just as doable as heterosexual couples with children.

In fact they even manage to show that their child is happy and very functioning in a family like theirs, and that even same-sex couples have troubles with getting their children to eat vegetables.

Somewhere else in Singapore, peoples faces exploded by the news.

“Gaaah! How can it be that a nuclear lesbian or a gay family can be this happy! That is just so sick!!”

Dear Vernon Chen, Siti Scarlett Zubaidah, Peter Shee, Zaid Lazim, Shamsuria Nor, Siti Scarlett Zuibaidah, Gina Ngiam, Hashim Yuof, Adeline Ho, Mary Tian (who believe homosexuality is like child pornography), Evan Lee and Nina Hong; Do you really believe that growing up with two mothers is a danger to a childs growth and future adult life?

Well, The kids are just fine, thank you very much. Actually, they’re much better than your kids.

According to studies done in the past years, then children of lesbian parents are actually more accepting to democratic attitudes about society than their peers from heterosexual households, are more well rounded and is better able to handle conflicts compared to children who grow up in heterosexual nuclear families according to several studies.

Yes, yes I know. Having a “democratic” attitude in Singapore, might be an issue….

Read the studies “Children Reared By Female Couples Score Higher on Good Citizenship Than Children Reared by Heterosexual Parents“, “The Australian study of child health in same-sex families: background research, design and methodology ” and “The National Lesbian Family Study: 4. Interviews With the 10-Year-Old Children” for more information about these studies. They are quite interesting reads.

Abbie Goldberg from Clark University in Massachusetts who researches homosexual parenting, told LiveScience in 2013 that gay parents “tend to be more motivated and more committed than heterosexual parents on average, because they chose to be parents.” Accidental pregnancies rarely happen in homosexual couples compared to almost 50% of the time for heterosexual couples. Simply choosing to be parents makes a significant difference in whether you will take your parenting responsibilities seriously or not.

Stephen Scott head of research at the National Academy for Parenting Practitioners in United Kingdom, said in 2013 that gay women are better at raising children than traditional parents.

He justified his maybe slight controversial view that research shows that children of two mothers are more ambitious and fight more for social justice than children brought up by a mother and a father.

Daughters of lesbian parents are more likely to look at subjects that traditionally have been considered masculine, for example: Engineering, Medicine and Legal subjects. And that children of lesbians and gays are not becoming “more” gay or seek out gay relationships more often than children of heterosexual parents.

So just because we want to have children on our own, then that does not mean that we will populate and take over the world with our homosexuality.

Well,….okay…. not yet at least.

That anyone, ANYONE, say that same-sex couples are not fit to be parents, simply just don’t have their facts straight – so to speak, hm, and need to look closer into the subject of what it take for same sex couples to become parents and the efforts that we will have to go through, as we most often are not given the same financial benefits as heterosexual couples get.

As gay parents, there WILL be questions that they (we) will have to take with the children that heterosexual parents don’t have to take. But as an adaptable spieces, then we are able to get over the strangest things and still come out on top on it. Besides, someone else have already gone through it before and either written a book about it as a self-help book, or written an easy step by step guide too. So there are really nothing to be concerned or pissed about when it comes to children of gay parents.