And a Happy New Year to you all.

Didn’t expect this one the last first day of the year?!

I haven’t felt like blogging for a while. Not that I haven’t had anything to talk about, but my mind and brain just weren’t into writing anything in this “semi” public diary of mine.

In the new hear I hope that I will be able to sit down and write about Singapore’s oldest lesbian couple that I met back in November (or early December?), and they had quite a life story that I would love to share with the rest of you. It is about 50% complete from where I want it to be, so cross your (my) fingers that it will be posted soon. We had a talk about changes through life and ages, finding love, Singapore’s lack of acceptance and that it is never too late for anyone to come out of closet!

I will return to work again on the 16th, but just came in for lunch and… you know, just to say hi to everyone and give all who deserve it a happy New Year hug. But after being away for about half a year, then it were a little odd to be back in the office and it almost felt like the “first day” at work again.

For the next few months I will be working part time and just try to ease myself into “work” again, but then again “part time” to me usually means close to what everyone else consider close to full time – European working hours!!

It also means that I won’t be teaching about Journalism and Reporting in Asia this year as part of the agreement with my employer. I feel quite sad about that decision because it is something I look forward to months in advance and is something that I really enjoy doing.

But as they say in the movies and cheesy romantic novellas. I will be back!

Next year…

Spending 6 month with almost no travels, no airplanes, no airports, no hotels, especially no hotel food! and full nights of non stressed sleep is something that I haven’t had tried in years and I honestly can’t remember when I last felt this relaxed and at ease with myself.

I have been so much at ease that it almost lead to borderline boredom.

But then I had plenty of time to read quite a lot of books in the Lesbian genre and whatever I could find of interesting reads on Literotica and others like that.

Oh by the way, can you remember the time when if you needed to know if anyone were lesbian, that you then just had to ask what their profile name were on PinkSofa?

It turns out that I still have an active profile on that site and someone (nunejr)- who must have been more bored than me, and/or just returned to Singapore from the UK, gave me a smile there.

I didn’t reply because S…. would object greatly to it and will likewise question about why I still have an active account there at all! I had forgotten all about it.

I used to like PinkSofa because the profiles there felt more genuine than on many other dating sites and for some reason there were less fake profile there as well. Maybe I am fooling myself about that part?, but that is what I believe. Especially back when I used to be very (very) active in the dating and “lets get together” scene.

Do you still use PinkSofa? Do any? What alternatives to PinkSofa do you use today? I mean where do lesbians go unicorn hunting now? Or are you one of the daring ones who hit on all the straight ladies and don’t care about rejections?

By the way, I send an email to PinkSofa and asked them about what it would cost to send out a mass email to all the women who have registered from Singapore through them. (they haven’t replied yet!)

In the months of staring up at the ceiling, going through a wall repainting project, reading a crazy amounts of books, spend too much time on online shopping and binge watching all episodes of Grey’s Anatomy for the n’th time, then I wondered if I should take up the Lesbian Dinner event in Singapore that I used to frequent in Netherlands, and then maybe use PinkSofa as a platform in trying to marketing it to those who don’t know who I am.

I think it would be more interesting to meet someone who aren’t in your already closely knitted lesbian circle.

I know that S… would be cheering for it and for more than one reason would jump at a dinner (She will message me 2-3 minutes after I have posted this and say “about bloody fudge[censored]ing time!!!” among xxx other). She would of course also use the dinner as a recruiting platform for her yoga mindray to get more to join yoga classes in Singapore, or find out what classes they already attended.

But what do you say? 10-12 semi single(or just want to meet new friends) ladies for dinner dating at my place? Would that be something that could work in little Singapore?

Yes there would be plenty of red wine to the Introverts.

 

I didn’t get to write about the most despicable person I have ever seen on the Internet in 2016 either. And it is not Trump or a racist asshole Trump supporter.

There is a person calling herself the “Lesbian Pua”. PUA means PickUp Artist. She is absolutely not a lesbian. More bisexual in my book since she got a boyfriend. But this person find it is okay to upload videos of her female sexual conquests to YouTube, and without the partners consent record them with a hidden camera, so everyone can see who and how many she have had sex with.

I don’t know what people do for views and likes these days, but I really feel that life and society have taken a very wrong turn for the worse if anyone’s life and self-esteem are determined by a number below a picture or a video.

The crazy lengths they are willing to go for these views and likes? And for what??

I just wonder if she even think about the women that she beds and record in secret. Does she even consider or think about their emotions and the consequences it might have on their personal life’s when she makes it public on the internet?

I mean what the f!!!?

You can read more about her on Tumblr or on YouTube and decide for yourself if she could take the title as the most despicable LGBT person of 2016
With this I wish you a Happy New Year, and hopefully a much better and happier 2017.

Take care everyone!
Sarah-Jane

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You know that already, but homophobes might actually be gay?!

I knew it! The group “We are against PinkDot in Singapore” is actually a group of self denying closeted people who need our help.

So after you have seen the YouTube video, then go sprinkle them with some rainbow dust and plenty of love, because they need our help to come out.

 

 

 

“OMG. Please tell me that your sister is gay too! “

Do you also have one of these friends? You meet her at the local xyz gay bar talk a few times and find out that you could have been besties in a previous life, but only really get to talk when you bump into each other once in a blue moon when you are in the same country and city?

Well I got one of these, she send me a message and I reply days later – or the other way around.

Yesterday she send me this message “OMG. Please tell me that your sister is gay too! ”

Turned out that she had seen her and my sister in law picking strawberries together some days ago at a pick and eat your own strawberries until you die farm and decided that the two of them looked awful gay together. Yesterday when she saw me with them, then that only reinforced that idea and had to ask me if I knew them well?

Something that I by the way confirmed.

“Yes I know them quite well and one of them is my sister.”

” Is she les too? are they a couple? Please let me know if she is single. You have to introduce me!!”

“No she is NOT gay and the other one is my sister in law. So don’t hit on them.”

“Ever!!”

So I thought about that.

What if my sister turned gay?

No… I really didn’t like that idea one bit.

I really didn’t.. .

Not that I wouldn’t be supporting and everything that would be needed if she really came out. But I also felt, grrr, about it. Being gay is mine! and having my sister who is getting close to her 50’s coming out and have this (and others) early 30’s friend go gaga over her, then welcome to my teenage years all over again!!

Cue my inner green monster.

Yes in my early teens, some parts of me hated my more than 10 years older miss perfect sister, when I battled with braces, pimples and massive insecurity, so I can just imagine her moving in on what I think of “mine”.

Besides I can just imagine my brothers facial wtf expression when he learned about that and then he would probably immediately after laugh his ass off while he reminded me that it would solely be my task to explain that to the relatives in Singapore and how I could have spread my “infection” to the princess of stability and so-called pride of the family.

My sister is the epiphany of “can do no bad” with several remote family members, and with children, a “good” husband (good is that he got a stable job, and can make her pregnant) and a finance-ish finance job, then even her short run- away-to-Hong-Kong-to-try-modeling in her early 20ish is forgiven and forgotten.

Well, there is also the point of that my gaydar would have completely failed when it came to my sister because she from my point, is seen as the straightest person ever. Period. And I am not just saying that because I want her to stay like that.

It’s just. “Well girlfriends… you know what? My sister just came out and I didn’t know anything about it before now.”

hmm.

No, I couldn’t have that my gaydar got reflected and fooled by the highnesses shininess. I actually think that would be worse to my ego. It would even be worse than the thought of her running away with someone that I knew well.

Anyway no, I am quite sure that I would know if she were. At least I would have picked up on the subtle hints if there were any.

Okay, I have had the suspicion that my sister and her hubby is not that vanilla as everyone want them to believe, but there are after all some things that I in my own so-called lesbian life can’t overlook.

No matter how blur I can be – and at times am.

 

Ice cream to everyone!

I gave ice cream to the department a few days ago.

Not that it was out of my good heart, but I lost a draw and then why not use all that pent up energy from the weekend to go down and buy the boys and the rest of the department ice cream?

I call them boys to tease the geeks, plus I got a feeling that they kind a like it, even when they strongly object to it. If it is socially okay for them to call women, girls, then why wouldn’t it be okay for me to call the guys for boys?!?

Earlier that day I had a chat with the HR manager director, well it is either of the titles, can’t remember right now. She asked how I were doing and if I needed any moral support after these days, and well, then just wanted to talk for a while to follow up on our last talks.

Aren’t she nice?

As a HR person she is quite cool by the way. She is not a power suit person, bicycle to work on a men’s bicycle because “the frame is stronger and faster, and I don’t do slow”. I don’t know if that is true but it sounded like it when she said that it was so.

You usually see her in a t-shirt and hoodie, stone washed jeans and crew cut hair.

So when I met her for the first time after my transfer to where I am now, my broken gaydar screamed “OH YES! LESBIAN COLLEAGUE. HOW COOL IS THAT” In your face fate, I thought.

I have never worked in an office with another out lesbian (who didn’t leave for another country the moment she came out), and I just feel that I am missing something in my professional life. It’s not that sexuality matters at work, but well, you know?… It could just be fun.

She got short well kept nails.

Women with long nails are just not bi or les. Or said in another way. Lesbians with long nails is a sure sign that they haven’t had sex in a very long time. At least not good sex.

Or is just a selfish pillow princess.

So avoid long nails! No good can come out of it.

Scissor hands are not getting near me at all.

And she got amaaazing.. Eh.. said in another way;

My grandmother once told me that if I kept my breasts as young as a 20 year old, then I could rule any man that I wanted.

That was long before I joined team L. by the way.

If my grandmother is right, then my colleague here must be fiercely ruling her husband.

Yes you read it right! She is straight and married to the manliest man that you can ever think about. I told myself that she must be overcompensating for something else.. Got 2.5 child and very settled in.

½ = poodle. Of all animals… a poodle! That is just so gay!

But I had somehow flatly ignored the pictures on her desk and ended up asking in my typical subtle way.

When I do subtle, I usually open out with asking if I haven’t seen her at the local lesbian club or bar, or whatever famous lesbian event that even straight people knows about, or if that was her girlfriend / wife I saw her with “the other day”. (There were no other day)

So very subtle.

My so-called gaydar radar is right about 60% of the times, other times I have to give in and admit that women just like to dress and act hipster gay.

If they say that they aren’t gay, then I will change subject and complain about that.

I mean if anything, I can at least leave them with a sense of fashion insecurity.

But we got around several subjects in out chat, until she ended up asking me if it were true that I called them “boys” and if I didn’t know that it could be seen as offensive to some?

I replied with that when I did call them “boys” it usually were after they had called us “girls”, or somehow shortly after, and that I by the way didn’t really see the difference and felt it just as offensive to be called “a girl” by a guy who are younger than me.

She understood the point, but didn’t know what to do about it.

What do you think? Is it okay for the guys / men to call us “girls”, but it is not okay for us to call them “boys”?

 

 

Crap. That is just so gay!

Last week two of my coworkers had some kind of software development type of issues (or equally nerdy stuff) when I overheard this conversation.

Coworker #1: “Man this is just so gay. Crap.”

Coworker #2: “Yea, so fucking gay. Bummer.”

Me, while I hide behind my screen pretending to be busy with work, but is really deep into an conversation with S..: “Guys. The word ‘gay’ is NOT supposed to be used as an insult when something irritates you.”

Both coworkers: “Oh no. Sorry about that.”

And then in the office earlier today.

Coworker #2. “Crap. This is just so fucking gay. (quick look towards me, who hardly noticed what they were doing or talking about). No, I mean bummer, eh darn…. Sorry.”

Baby steps.

Singaporean Homosexuality in Numbers

Singapore in Numbers

Here is a quick infographics poster about homosexuality in Singapore. Unfortunately I could not post the infographics directly onto the wordpost page and could only link to it.

Happy reading.

 

Have I turned into the stereotypical angry lesbian?

Got a skype message from a friend that I haven’t spoken to in ages after she found and read my blog.

CC: “What! You sound so serious and angry on your blog!”

ME: “Grrr. What are you talking about!”

ME: “I am not angry when I blog. Maybe irritated at most!!”

CC: “You sound like that angry lesbian in some of your posts lol”.

Beware Angry Lesbian

Not that angry after all.

Have I really turned into a stereotypical angry lesbian after I passed my *hm* 30’s (omg!)? Nah I am not angry and can’t recall that I have been angry when I wrote anything on this blog. Okay, there were one or two, that started out angry – like my post about IKEA, but else I really don’t feel that I have turned into that angry lesbian who rant about everything heteronormative that does not leave room for LGBT issues and liberties.

But my  post about IKEA were more in a disappointed state, than angry.

Yes, really.

Am I really angry?

No. I am not angry. I can be very ironic. I can be fiercely stubborn on my convictions and I am not afraid to fight for what I believe in – and that is a Singapore who is able to embrace sexual diversity, as well as a country who does not suppress a democratic voice and a free press. That does not make me the angry lesbian, just someone who need to (maybe loudly) say that something is so horribly wrong in Singapore, that it is going to hurt the country and its citizens in the future.

But when an police officer tell a LGBT marathon organizer that “‘Your kind’ can run a marathon in Hong Lim Park”, a politician – and probably the next PM of Singapore, tell a MNC that it is ‘unfortunate’ that they have an LGBT diversity programme, and according to rumors, MOM (It’s the Ministry Of Manpower) openly advice that it is okay to terminate employment of an employee based on their sexuality then something is just wrong – THAT makes me angry.

We got a media where it is illegal to mention homosexuality in a positive light, and where they can be fined massively for just mentioning that some A-list personality – or anyone else – is gay. At most homosexuals are named as “roommates“, when they are living together and need to be mentioned. Well, unless someone have a mental breakdown, then it is more than okay to mentioned their sexuality.

It is not legal for singers to sing songs that mention homosexuality in the country either (So I guess that Uh Huh Her is not going to perform in Singapore anytime soon?).

OMG I have played songs performed by homosexuals while driving my car. So did that make me a criminal when I sang along?

Yes, Yes I sing while I am driving. Sometimes even rather loudly.

And well, as a woman, then the shape of my breasts already count more than my master degree does to some people, so I will not let anyone also dictate how out I can be at work, or in life, when it comes to my sexuality.

If that makes me an angry lesbian, then I guess that I am. I just don’t see myself as angry.