And a Happy New Year to you all.

Didn’t expect this one the last first day of the year?!

I haven’t felt like blogging for a while. Not that I haven’t had anything to talk about, but my mind and brain just weren’t into writing anything in this “semi” public diary of mine.

In the new hear I hope that I will be able to sit down and write about Singapore’s oldest lesbian couple that I met back in November (or early December?), and they had quite a life story that I would love to share with the rest of you. It is about 50% complete from where I want it to be, so cross your (my) fingers that it will be posted soon. We had a talk about changes through life and ages, finding love, Singapore’s lack of acceptance and that it is never too late for anyone to come out of closet!

I will return to work again on the 16th, but just came in for lunch and… you know, just to say hi to everyone and give all who deserve it a happy New Year hug. But after being away for about half a year, then it were a little odd to be back in the office and it almost felt like the “first day” at work again.

For the next few months I will be working part time and just try to ease myself into “work” again, but then again “part time” to me usually means close to what everyone else consider close to full time – European working hours!!

It also means that I won’t be teaching about Journalism and Reporting in Asia this year as part of the agreement with my employer. I feel quite sad about that decision because it is something I look forward to months in advance and is something that I really enjoy doing.

But as they say in the movies and cheesy romantic novellas. I will be back!

Next year…

Spending 6 month with almost no travels, no airplanes, no airports, no hotels, especially no hotel food! and full nights of non stressed sleep is something that I haven’t had tried in years and I honestly can’t remember when I last felt this relaxed and at ease with myself.

I have been so much at ease that it almost lead to borderline boredom.

But then I had plenty of time to read quite a lot of books in the Lesbian genre and whatever I could find of interesting reads on Literotica and others like that.

Oh by the way, can you remember the time when if you needed to know if anyone were lesbian, that you then just had to ask what their profile name were on PinkSofa?

It turns out that I still have an active profile on that site and someone (nunejr)- who must have been more bored than me, and/or just returned to Singapore from the UK, gave me a smile there.

I didn’t reply because S…. would object greatly to it and will likewise question about why I still have an active account there at all! I had forgotten all about it.

I used to like PinkSofa because the profiles there felt more genuine than on many other dating sites and for some reason there were less fake profile there as well. Maybe I am fooling myself about that part?, but that is what I believe. Especially back when I used to be very (very) active in the dating and “lets get together” scene.

Do you still use PinkSofa? Do any? What alternatives to PinkSofa do you use today? I mean where do lesbians go unicorn hunting now? Or are you one of the daring ones who hit on all the straight ladies and don’t care about rejections?

By the way, I send an email to PinkSofa and asked them about what it would cost to send out a mass email to all the women who have registered from Singapore through them. (they haven’t replied yet!)

In the months of staring up at the ceiling, going through a wall repainting project, reading a crazy amounts of books, spend too much time on online shopping and binge watching all episodes of Grey’s Anatomy for the n’th time, then I wondered if I should take up the Lesbian Dinner event in Singapore that I used to frequent in Netherlands, and then maybe use PinkSofa as a platform in trying to marketing it to those who don’t know who I am.

I think it would be more interesting to meet someone who aren’t in your already closely knitted lesbian circle.

I know that S… would be cheering for it and for more than one reason would jump at a dinner (She will message me 2-3 minutes after I have posted this and say “about bloody fudge[censored]ing time!!!” among xxx other). She would of course also use the dinner as a recruiting platform for her yoga mindray to get more to join yoga classes in Singapore, or find out what classes they already attended.

But what do you say? 10-12 semi single(or just want to meet new friends) ladies for dinner dating at my place? Would that be something that could work in little Singapore?

Yes there would be plenty of red wine to the Introverts.

 

I didn’t get to write about the most despicable person I have ever seen on the Internet in 2016 either. And it is not Trump or a racist asshole Trump supporter.

There is a person calling herself the “Lesbian Pua”. PUA means PickUp Artist. She is absolutely not a lesbian. More bisexual in my book since she got a boyfriend. But this person find it is okay to upload videos of her female sexual conquests to YouTube, and without the partners consent record them with a hidden camera, so everyone can see who and how many she have had sex with.

I don’t know what people do for views and likes these days, but I really feel that life and society have taken a very wrong turn for the worse if anyone’s life and self-esteem are determined by a number below a picture or a video.

The crazy lengths they are willing to go for these views and likes? And for what??

I just wonder if she even think about the women that she beds and record in secret. Does she even consider or think about their emotions and the consequences it might have on their personal life’s when she makes it public on the internet?

I mean what the f!!!?

You can read more about her on Tumblr or on YouTube and decide for yourself if she could take the title as the most despicable LGBT person of 2016
With this I wish you a Happy New Year, and hopefully a much better and happier 2017.

Take care everyone!
Sarah-Jane

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Are you still there?

I got a few letters from new and old followers asking if I were still blogging? And the answer to that is a “YES!” Yes, I am still working on the blog, but just had a crazy month where I had no time at all. Had too much work,  had to survive a lesbian dinner with 18 guests that I hosted in my home – and because I am miss perfect in some ways, then I ended up stressing myself like crazy over the dinner, so I ended up  sick for a week after.

Nahhh. I didn’t get sick of the dinner. We had in the office a flu like bronchitis-ish disease sweeping through everyone and it were my turn as the last one to get it! And then on the day where I had to host my dinner!!! grrrr I mean what?? Why?? Why that day??! Faint!

But success! The food were nice, I felt it were acceptable and everyone loved it like crazy.

Even my evil nemesis aka “you can’t be a real lesbian because you like the Room In Rome movie” from the local bar turned up and she even told to my face that she liked my food!  I think the world stopped spinning for a second there.

I made Green Curry Chicken, with a small salad and bread, and made Coconut ice-cream as desert. S… dared me to serve them Durian ice-cream, but I chickened out in the end.  I mean oh the horror it would have been if someone actually complained about my food.

Right?

Turns out that I can take a lot of things, but the thought of someone who didn’t like my food or didn’t feel entertained at my home is actually much, much worse than the idea of someone who don’t approve of my sexuality.

Who would have thought that?

I am a recent member in a lesbian dinner group, where those who can make it meet once a month – or so – at each other’s homes where they usually make dinner together as well as help with the cleaning and entertainment afterwards (strong alcoholic drinks, coffee  tea, lots of cakes and chitchatting).

It is also a very nice way to meet other women like this because not only do you get to experience their table manners, you also get to see how they act without being too drunk and in homely setting and so. So quite a few couples have come out of this 8 year old dinner event here.

Usually it is only 7-8 women of very different ages who show up each time, but someone “accidentally” forgot to mention to me that August is the month where everyone suddenly have time to join, so I got tricked to host it in August, that usually is the hardest month to get someone to host.

As the currently only non white woman in the group, then I guess there were some curiosity to see how the hot girl (if I can’t compliment myself, then who can??) with the slanted eyes lived as well.

I ended up making the food on my own. Mainly because I wanted it to-be-just-right, and the thought of that someone might end up ruining my signature dish didn’t sit well with my ego. Green Curry Chicken, is crazy easy to make, and is one of the better dishes to make when you want to impress “miss next girlfriend who is coming for dinner”.

I don’t know what it is with lesbians and kitchens? and cooking in general? But it seems like to me that kitchens in lesbian homes is just something that should to be used as little as humanly possibly, and generally is only good for making brownies in. Or at least it seems so to me when I am talking to the ladies around me.

Okay, my small group of lesbian friends is not representatives of every lesbian and lesbian couples on planet earth, but it is scary how many times my friends cycle through their 5-6 standard dishes over the year when they are making food on their own.

I LOVE MY KITCHEN

I am absolutely the one who is talking most about food. But that could just as well be my Singaporean genes who fiercely demands that I talk about food at least 8 times a day, or there is something horribly wrong with me.

I enjoy my kitchen and making food. Well, when I can decide what to make. I get crazy cranky if someone tell me what to do in a kitchen, or end up telling me how to chop, or do things in a kitchen, or try to correct the way I do things there. It is either my way or no way.

The idea of ending up as the typical “Noe Valley” stay at home lesbian mom is crazy scary to me.

Noe Valley is a suburb in San Francisco. We used to joke back in uni when I studied in San Francisco that the worst nightmare would be to end up getting married to someone who really did the whole corporate ladder career to the max and then decide that you had to stay at home and look after the typical million dollar house, make sure that it were spotless, give birth, raise 2 spoiled children and get the lesbian dogs properly trained while she went power tripping around the world.

In short a Noe Valley lesbian is a Lesbian Tai tai.

Turned out that that was exactly what one of my roommates ended up doing with a double master degree, and being the smartest woman that I have ever known. She ended up as a token femme lesbian wife who get unhappy and emotionally upset if she can’t get the things that she is looking for at the famers market and need to settle with non organic items instead.

Unbelieveable!

Sidetracked for a bit.

So yes, I like my kitchen. I like doing and making things in it, and think that well, besides my bed, then the kitchen is the most cozy place to just hang out in I feel. And NO I don’t invite random strangers to “hang” out in my bed and bedroom.

Ugh. I wanted to make a point with the whole Noe Valley comment, but then I forgot what it was that I wanted to say?!

….

Oh yes, now I remember.

I like doing kitchen and homely things, but only to a certain degree because as much as I like to do, you know, the whole femme lesbian cave with scented candles, pillows ,pride art everywhere, home ID and so, then I love to work even more, so my cooking end up as experimental and challenging as long as they stay uncomplicated and in the end are very easy to do.

But it is actually nice to get someone home and then make dinner with someone….. Lesbian dating tip #3. Don’t go out and eat. Invite miss sexy home and then tell her that you two are going to make dinner together while you chit chat. Go out and shop together, then chop and cook as well. Preferably over a glass of something.

Works every time… Most of the time… Okay sometimes…, and if you get too busy with something else (hm), then order pizza afterwards and hope to reheat the day after.

Okay, this post took me a whole other place than where I wanted to go to, so I am going to start over in a while – or tomorrow and then try again. But no. I am not giving up and will still be posting. So don’t you worry. I am here and I will continue writing.

Not working today, so thought that I would out my queer fridge to the world for once.

Took Monday and Tuesday of after this weekend and let me just say that I still feel the effects from whatever that I got Saturday – and I guess that say a lot about my ability to handle various types of alcohol.

Anyway let me introduce something dear to me.

My fridge!

Yes, I really don’t know what I should be doing without her.

Shop more often I guess??

 

 

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Beetroot,Red Cherry Paprica w cheese, Ginger root, Lime, 2 x Cheese and Toblerone!!

 

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Homemade strawberry / rhubarb jam (curtsey my sister and sister in law), Chicken that should have been used Yesterday!!, more jam (not homemade), 2 x Swedish mustard that I for some reason bought in Sweden, and still don’t know why I wanted to buy them and then bring them all the way back with me. Milk in a milk jug and mayo (I think).

Oh yes, lower left corner: White wine from Chile and two bottles of water.

 

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Plums (of some sort), cooking butter, Olives!!!!. Amazingly enough I got half of a small glass left? Potatoes that need to be eaten asap. Salad (in the large box below the potatoes). Two boxes with unknown content??

 

(Going to look)

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Turned out that I actually knew what were in the them.

Homemade by my own hands, garlic (judging by the smell; lots and lots of garlic) and dill dressing for the salad.

Watermelon and cheese salad, leftovers – with mint leaves I believe. Home created as well. (by me and me alone!!)

 

What I didn’t show

Top drawer: Assorted beer cans that is about to go over date, 7 types of different juices all within an acceptable date range, Apple cider that taste of butt crack, Sundried tomatoes (in a glass), Roasted red peppers also in a glass and what was long time ago supposed to be hummus.

Lower drawer (aka veggie drawer): Tomatoes (lots and too many to count), cucumber (yes, yes every lesbian need one of those – or at least to some male fantasies), red and green pepper, lemon grass, red and white(?) onions, what was once salad leaves. Old (very, very old) asparagus, ican billis – not sure why they are in that drawer?? What I am quite certain is Water spinach. Xiang Mai Chye and Pak Choi that both have seen better days.

Fridge door: Too much to mention.

 

FOOD: Cold avocado and cucumber soup with salmon

This first little dish is a little tricky to describe because I make it mostly by touch and feel now.

You will need a blender or a food processor for the soup.

Cold avocado and cucumber soup with salmon is quick to make and is something that can impress your date or partner. It is by the way a dish that is fun to prepare together.

The soup can be kept cold in the fridge for a few days if you make too much of it and you can just as well drink it from a glass as a avocado cucumber smoothie. Just add more water to make it thinner.

(for two persons)

1 clove garlic
1/2 cucumber
1 avocado
1 dl (or cup) cream
50 grams of spinach
Juice from 2 normal sized lemons
zest from 1 organic lemon
zest from 1 organic orange
1 pinch cayenne pepper
½ teaspoon curry
1 tablespoon grainy mustard
1 bunch fresh dill
Tabasco as needed

Optional ½ bunch of mint leaves.

Garnish with dill or watercress.

2 pieces of salmon at about 120 grams each.

 

Soup

Peel the cucumber, zest the lemon and orange, and blend all the ingredients for the soup in a blender or a food processor. Add water but make sure that the soup stay thick-ish.

The white pith is bitter and unpleasant in both lemons and oranges, so avoid that when you grate/zest them and always make sure that you use organic lemons and oranges for this. If you don’t know how to grate a lemon, then the youtube video below explains it well.

Serve in two deep plates and keep them in the fridge until the salmon is done. Alternatively keep the blended soup in the fridge until the salmon is done and then prepare the plates while the salmon is resting.

 

The Salmon

Melt butter or use a nice type of olive oil in a frying pan. Season the salmon with salt and pepper. Don’t overdo the pepper and optionally squeeze a little bit of lemon juice over it. Place the salmon skin-side down. Fry for 2-3 minutes, then turn the salmon over and fry for a further 1-2 minutes, or until cooked through.

If you don’t know how to pan sear a salmon, then this youtube video explains how to do it in an easy way. It’s not that difficult and is easy to do if you keep an eye on it until you feel confident about it.

Let the salmon settle away from the pan for a minute or two before serving. But serve it while still warm.

Take the plates out of the fridge, place the warm salmon on top of the soup and garnish with either fresh dill or watercress and serve.

Everything takes about 10 to 15 minutes to do.

In Singapore “Lesbian” is a naughty word. But “Gay” is not.

Did you know that in Singapore you can’t register a lesbian domain name, but it is possible to register a gay domain name?

While doing research for a story and a small personal project, I happen to pass by Singapore’s Domain registration organization SGNIC who is part of IDA(Infocomm Development Authority of Singapore) in Singapore. In short it is the people who manage all domain names ending with “.sg”, “.com.sg” and others ending with “.sg” and make sure that domain names are managed for whoever have an interest in registering a domain name representing Singapore.

So I went to their website to see what possible names that I could register that had any relation to my sexuality eh and food.

Well, what happen yesterday was that I got invited to a lesbian dinner event, and it ended up being so fun and interesting that I wanted to bring that idea with me back to Singapore.

The whole idea – or event – is that for you to become a member of the Lesbian Dinner Group, then you need to either get invited to a dinner by an existing member, or sign up by SMS and then host a dinner at a date of your choice and with a dish (or string of) that you believe that you can do. Members of the group can then sign up and get to join your marvelous culinary wonder and get to meet each other at your place as well.

It also got great dating potentials, without feeling like a date (to begin with).

As a guest you can choose to help out in the kitchen. Arrive later and help with the table and service, or arrive on time and then pay a little more than the others who helped out. It is all up to you, with (almost) no group pressure. The only rule there is, is that when you have signed up, then you pay if you don’t show up or find a substitute for you.

I decided to help out with the dinner. Not that I could do much, I knew how to chop vegetables, but didn’t know much about the dish itself, so I could only help out with what I could – and get to know the other women / girls / ladies / whatever, at the same time.

To me personally, I prefer to arrive early if I don’t know anyone, and try to help out with what there is to help out with so I get to know at least some of the other guests before everyone arrives. To me it is also fun to help out with the food and preparations.

Marvelous idea and loved it so much, that I thought that this could be a great, fun, cozy idea to bring back to Singapore. I mean what scary could there be to host a dinner for hungry eyed lesbians who expect nothing less than a wonder?

So with this in mind I went to SGNIC to see what domain names was available because I thought that it would be better to create a simple website for like minded to know about this event, instead of working with an SMS system like the one here. I could of course just have made an Facebook page, and guess that would have been much easier, but I really dislike Facebook.

Initially I began to search for domains that could hint at lesbian dinners and then got curious if the domain “lesbian.sg” was taken and what it was used for? But to my surprise the SGNIC website stated that it was on the reserved list. Meaning that the domain name could not be registered by anyone because it was a banned word.

My surprise only got greater when I then could see that it was possible to register gay.sg and that someone already have done so. It made me wonder what is so scary about lesbians in Singapore compared to gay men?? Are we really that scary??

What do you think?

Would it work out in Singapore?

Would you like to join a blind dinner date with hungry, starved lady loving women?