For reposting permits and media quotes, please see the media section below.

About Me

I am a Singaporean-Dutch (or Dutch-Singaporean). A 47 ½% Singaporean, 46 ½% Dutch and 6% out of this world lesbian, who tend to spell Lesbian with a capital L just to provoke, and got out of my closet while in the mid twenties.

Didn’t look back and from there I went out to conquer the world and spread the word.

Well, out and out. I came out to my friends, my coworkers, my parents and siblings. The rest came whenever it were important for them and the world to know.

I did try to conquer the world – in my own loving way by spreading sappho love and poetry.

But I am older and (slightly) more boring now.

I am a nonsmoking angry feminist, one of those who believe in equality in gender and mandatory maternity leave for males as well as women. Nah I am not really angry – most of the time I am actually smiling and madly crazy happy – in sort of a drooling kind of way.

My Singaporean genes demand that I spend a lot of time talking about food…

All my Dutch genes does is to give me some sudden urges to go clog dancing and grow tulips when it is most inconvenient to me. But I guess they are also the reason for why I am absolutely amazing at doing Dutch braids.

I am fighting for equality. Oh and I want to be paid just as much as my male colleagues do at work. Does my masters not count for anything else than I should look pretty when it is needed eh? Grrrr…

Did you know that female full-time workers made only 78 71 cents for every dollar earned by men?

Anyway, I am a so called grownup now and got a grown up job with grownup responsibilities where I get to yo-yo between Singapore and Amsterdam. I still feel like I’m 27 and need to go out and realize myself every weekend – or whenever I feel it is time to shout to the world that I am alive. (Not when I am in my nesting period)

I sometimes even like to dance.

As a child I wanted to be a princess, teacher, dancer, bass player, the pink panther and a pirate. Then I found out that sailing were rather boring – and that people took offence to piracy in general, so I wanted to be a pilot and a space pirate princess instead – and then found out that Singapore Airlines did not employ female pilots on it’s long haul flights.

And why the effing eff not???

Well, it turns out that the sexist idiots at Singaporean Airlines, believe that women is not capable of doing long haul flights as pilots!!! WTF!!. No. Women need to stay out in the cabin and serve the passengers in their scantily tight dresses on these flights….

Later I came to realize that all that I wanted was to be heroic and an idealist who rescues damsels in distress. I should have seen the writing on the wall at that time – or maybe I took the idea of rescuing damsels in distress too literal and twisted that image to suit me better later in my life.

Unfortunately the space dreams got crushed at age 12 when I learned that my mother had set her mind up on that I should become a doctor like her. Didn’t like that idea, so after years of anguish I turned to writing.

Mom. Thank you so very much for the medical journal subscription and the anatomy book at my 12th birthday. Loved it so much that I cried myself to sleep.

My dad were like “Yea whatever makes you happy girl. Live your dreams when you can. Just promise me that you won’t bring boys home with shit or ink on their face.” Oh he could be sure that I would not do that at all.

I am still an idealist.

I still like the idea of rescuing damsels in distress from their princess towers. Maybe it is me who is in need of some sexy rescuing??

And my princess tower even got a lift.

This is my 5th time trying to write a blog and hopefully this will last a little longer than my femmeporn and platonic pink blogs lasted.

My writings will be without an overall topic, well besides that I am Lesbian/gay/lesbisch/拉子(lāzi)/ 拉拉(lālā)/婆(po)/plu a so-called Yin-Yin girl, then I’ll try to write about my life, my messed up relations to other women, maybe my dating horrors, my sexy and cute stalker, my gay male bff’s and whatever comes to my mind. Like my job. Maybe even you? Who knows?

Welcome, sit back and relax.


Please Comment.

Send me love letters if you are single and lesbian. Do it even if you are straight.

For those who are shy and / or just wish to get in contact with me in a more anonymous way, then they are welcome to write me at


Media and Posting on commercial websites

Bloggers can repost as much as they want, for as long as proper reference is given. i.e. a link to the original post.

If you are working for a commercial identity: Then you are not allowed to post or repost without proper approval.

This is in principle a blog, but it also contains materials that I have spend hours/days/weeks on researching, that means that if you post whole sections without permission then your company will be presented with an invoice for the time it took me to research and write the post.

The posts that contains journalistic researched materials are often, but not always, skipped freelance works, or works that still need to be completed or further researched. This does not mean that I lack documentaton for what I wrote, but that it need to be completed in other ways.

Approval to post a blog post does not automatically mean approval of other posts.

For quotes; references to me and / or the blog is always required.

For approval please write to mysocalledlesbianlife@outlook.com


10 thoughts on “About

    • OMG yes! I loved Tipping the Velvet. It was so amazing and Sarah Waters became one of my must read authors after I experienced it.

      Saving Face is also a must see, even it is a little old now.

  1. Hi Jane, stumbled upon your blog from Sylvia’s GSN article. Interesting blog. I wonder why I didn’t find it earlier. Anyway, glad I found it now and have subscribed. Email me if you want to connect :)

    • Yes why didn’t you? :) I replied to you by the email that I could find on your blog, and on twitter. Feel free to contact me whenever you like.

  2. good god. awesome articles! cannot believe i’ve accidentally stumbled across your blog only now, after my plentiful years of calling myself the know-it-all of online lesbian material.

    totally binge reading over the weekend, and will likely online crush on you like i do with Sarah and Adrianna.

  3. Can’t believe it had to take a viral post of your niece’s grade to get me here. I had a really good laugh reading some of your posts. Followed on tumblr!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s