Welcome to crazy town

I wrote this on the day that I came back to Singapore, but didn’t post it. Let’s just blame it on the haze and be done with it.


Welcome to crazy town #1

So I finally arrived.


As usual people tried to get off the plane like there were a fire at the end of the plane – or maybe a horde of hungry zombies who only just now decided that human flesh were the next big thing.

People in first class weren’t really bothered about zombies in the back of the plane. Their logic were that since there are plenty of meat in monkey class, then they would still have plenty of time to stretch, and very slowly get out of their seats and do things as slow as possibly, while they – with a smug expression looked down the plane where a few desperate flight attendants with arms and legs tried the human horde not to leave before they were allowed to. I guess that we someday will see flight attendants in riot gear when they try to hold back the masses from monkey class from geting off the plane before they socially are allowed to.

Zombies or not. I decided to just wait it out and thought that there would be time enough for me to leave the plane after the most desperate people got off, before it left again.

Usually I would catch up with them at the luggage claim.

The guy at the window seat were rather desperate to get out and mingle with the horde and I could feel that he in irritation about me tried to calculate if it would be okay to just jump over me, so he could join the rest, or if he just had to suffer it out until the bitch beside him decided to get out of her seat.

He waited.

But I am sure that he would complain like shit to someone about me.

I got off the plane too. Eventually. Even without being eaten or getting my ass groped.

I did get the stink eye from the guy when he passed me while he desperately tried to catch up with the rest of my fellow passengers who had hurried down to immigration and the luggage claim so they could wait for the luggage to arrive.


#2 The boy

Breezed through immigration, and even managed to pass you know, that guy, and a few others from the plane and made it to the luggage claim before them.

Yep sure enough. No luggage yet.

So after negotiating with a trolley to let itself go from the other trolley friends it got, then I found an empty spot while I waiting for my clothes.

My luggage really.

With the firm expectations that my clothes were still inside in it.

Something beside my leg tried to force itself past me, and turned out it were a small chubby boy.

When he found out that my legs didn’t have any plans to move for him, then he decided that my left leg were fine enough to hold on to while he looked around at the people and wondered why they now had to stand around there instead of just going home?

Adults are just strange tall people.

The boy ,about 5-6 years, looked up at me and decided to smile. I guess that I just have the face that makes children feel it is more than okay to smile at me, and if they did, then I would sprinkle them with candy, fairy dust or something like that.

I didn’t give him candy.

Smile he did.

After a few seconds looking at my face, then he decided that I didn’t plan to eat him and that I weren’t some kind of fairytale monster that he unintentionally had walked up to. So my face became uninteresting and he decided to stare at my breasts instead.

6 years old, and he already got a breast fetish.

While wondered if someone would object if poked the boys eyes out, or if I could just force his head to look somewhere else, then he decided that what he needed in life just about then, were to pick his nose. Or the way his fingers were moving, then it looked like he were working quite well at going directly to his brain through his nose – and WITHOUT letting go of his stare on my breasts!

About then, a woman in the airport realized that she missed something, or just realized that her son were beginning to annoy me. So she came over.

Turned out that they were standing just behind me – or rather nearby.

“Oh I am sorry, I don’t hope that he is bothering you” she chipped. Yep, spunky and happy. A happy woman who looked like she just found a new best friend.

“Well, not really.”, “but he do have some wandering eyes” I said.

Her face were a question mark when I said it.

A guy beside us who overheard our quick and short conversation almost lost it, and it sounded like he were about to choke in a laugh that he tried to strangle while wanting to look ignorant, uninterested and bored.

Complete failure on his side.

But at least he immediately understood what I were saying.




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