On going home

I haven’t been home in ages and finally it is time to go home.

You know, it is funny. I haven’t been home for quite a while, but no matter how long I stay away from Singapore, then I always think about it as home and that I am a “guest” anywhere else. Something that is kind a nuts since I am spending more time away than home at the moment.

I love my very neglected apartment with all the semi dead plants. My couch! Kitchen and my bed!! I don’t really know what it is about my bedroom, but if it were up to me, then I could spend a day in the bed just making “snow angels” if that is generally accepted to do in your own bed?

But I don’t know. There is just something about my bedroom that screams “security” and “cozy” to me. So ya. I could easily spend a day in it with a book, the largest bowl (a cup would not be acceptable) of tea and plenty of biscuits and cupcakes.

Then I would probably freak out and go run for several hours and exercise like crazy to get rid of all the calories that I gained there.

I spend yesterday closing down the apartment here, going over to my sister with the content of my fridge and some of what needed to be consumed from the freezer. Yes, the durian ice cream lasted something in the area of 4½ minute before the little monsters screamed “charge!!” with spoons in their hands and jumped it like they haven’t had food – or ice cream – in ages. But I guess for children who haven’t had ice cream in the last 24-48 hours, then I guess that actually counts as “ages”. Right?

I got a call from SPH with another job offer to come back and work for them. Their fifth offer this year, and my fifth rejection as well. Think that also counted as the 18th offer to return home and work for a company in Singapore. Some parts of me would love to return home, but I also know that with the media laws we have then I would die a slow and agonizing death.

Besides I don’t really think that any of the employers know what it would mean to employ someone who would screamingly refuse to be dragged back into the closet, just so they on paper could comply with some crazy ass laws.

But I would actually love to disrupt the Singapore media scene and go do all the human interest stories that never get to see the light of day there, just because they didn’t vote for the right party, or is not part of the million dollar club that everyone seems to be amazed about. The sad thing is that interesting and fascinating people is not the ones who can show a facade of success or got tons of paper money locked away in a boring property or bank account and didn’t take the “right” education. No, the interesting people are the odd ones, the crazy ones who dares to think differently and dare to challenge the norms. All in all everything that the general public think is messy because they don’t comply with the Singaporean group thinking of what is “right”.

So nah, I will continue to yoyo between my two homes no matter how messy it makes me and my life.

I can’t help feeling the butterflies in my belly, after I shut down the electricity to the fridge, unplugged all the other electrical appliances in the bedroom and living room. Closed the blinds and made up the apartment, so it looked (semi) clean for when I would return again. But still seeing the apartment shut down like this makes me… You know kind of nervous and excited because I am finally going home again.

Gosh I hope there will be a hot and preferably lesbian flight attendant on my SIA flight that I can secretly swoon over.

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