Ice cream to everyone!

I gave ice cream to the department a few days ago.

Not that it was out of my good heart, but I lost a draw and then why not use all that pent up energy from the weekend to go down and buy the boys and the rest of the department ice cream?

I call them boys to tease the geeks, plus I got a feeling that they kind a like it, even when they strongly object to it. If it is socially okay for them to call women, girls, then why wouldn’t it be okay for me to call the guys for boys?!?

Earlier that day I had a chat with the HR manager director, well it is either of the titles, can’t remember right now. She asked how I were doing and if I needed any moral support after these days, and well, then just wanted to talk for a while to follow up on our last talks.

Aren’t she nice?

As a HR person she is quite cool by the way. She is not a power suit person, bicycle to work on a men’s bicycle because “the frame is stronger and faster, and I don’t do slow”. I don’t know if that is true but it sounded like it when she said that it was so.

You usually see her in a t-shirt and hoodie, stone washed jeans and crew cut hair.

So when I met her for the first time after my transfer to where I am now, my broken gaydar screamed “OH YES! LESBIAN COLLEAGUE. HOW COOL IS THAT” In your face fate, I thought.

I have never worked in an office with another out lesbian (who didn’t leave for another country the moment she came out), and I just feel that I am missing something in my professional life. It’s not that sexuality matters at work, but well, you know?… It could just be fun.

She got short well kept nails.

Women with long nails are just not bi or les. Or said in another way. Lesbians with long nails is a sure sign that they haven’t had sex in a very long time. At least not good sex.

Or is just a selfish pillow princess.

So avoid long nails! No good can come out of it.

Scissor hands are not getting near me at all.

And she got amaaazing.. Eh.. said in another way;

My grandmother once told me that if I kept my breasts as young as a 20 year old, then I could rule any man that I wanted.

That was long before I joined team L. by the way.

If my grandmother is right, then my colleague here must be fiercely ruling her husband.

Yes you read it right! She is straight and married to the manliest man that you can ever think about. I told myself that she must be overcompensating for something else.. Got 2.5 child and very settled in.

½ = poodle. Of all animals… a poodle! That is just so gay!

But I had somehow flatly ignored the pictures on her desk and ended up asking in my typical subtle way.

When I do subtle, I usually open out with asking if I haven’t seen her at the local lesbian club or bar, or whatever famous lesbian event that even straight people knows about, or if that was her girlfriend / wife I saw her with “the other day”. (There were no other day)

So very subtle.

My so-called gaydar radar is right about 60% of the times, other times I have to give in and admit that women just like to dress and act hipster gay.

If they say that they aren’t gay, then I will change subject and complain about that.

I mean if anything, I can at least leave them with a sense of fashion insecurity.

But we got around several subjects in out chat, until she ended up asking me if it were true that I called them “boys” and if I didn’t know that it could be seen as offensive to some?

I replied with that when I did call them “boys” it usually were after they had called us “girls”, or somehow shortly after, and that I by the way didn’t really see the difference and felt it just as offensive to be called “a girl” by a guy who are younger than me.

She understood the point, but didn’t know what to do about it.

What do you think? Is it okay for the guys / men to call us “girls”, but it is not okay for us to call them “boys”?

 

 

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