Ice cream to everyone!

I gave ice cream to the department a few days ago.

Not that it was out of my good heart, but I lost a draw and then why not use all that pent up energy from the weekend to go down and buy the boys and the rest of the department ice cream?

I call them boys to tease the geeks, plus I got a feeling that they kind a like it, even when they strongly object to it. If it is socially okay for them to call women, girls, then why wouldn’t it be okay for me to call the guys for boys?!?

Earlier that day I had a chat with the HR manager director, well it is either of the titles, can’t remember right now. She asked how I were doing and if I needed any moral support after these days, and well, then just wanted to talk for a while to follow up on our last talks.

Aren’t she nice?

As a HR person she is quite cool by the way. She is not a power suit person, bicycle to work on a men’s bicycle because “the frame is stronger and faster, and I don’t do slow”. I don’t know if that is true but it sounded like it when she said that it was so.

You usually see her in a t-shirt and hoodie, stone washed jeans and crew cut hair.

So when I met her for the first time after my transfer to where I am now, my broken gaydar screamed “OH YES! LESBIAN COLLEAGUE. HOW COOL IS THAT” In your face fate, I thought.

I have never worked in an office with another out lesbian (who didn’t leave for another country the moment she came out), and I just feel that I am missing something in my professional life. It’s not that sexuality matters at work, but well, you know?… It could just be fun.

She got short well kept nails.

Women with long nails are just not bi or les. Or said in another way. Lesbians with long nails is a sure sign that they haven’t had sex in a very long time. At least not good sex.

Or is just a selfish pillow princess.

So avoid long nails! No good can come out of it.

Scissor hands are not getting near me at all.

And she got amaaazing.. Eh.. said in another way;

My grandmother once told me that if I kept my breasts as young as a 20 year old, then I could rule any man that I wanted.

That was long before I joined team L. by the way.

If my grandmother is right, then my colleague here must be fiercely ruling her husband.

Yes you read it right! She is straight and married to the manliest man that you can ever think about. I told myself that she must be overcompensating for something else.. Got 2.5 child and very settled in.

½ = poodle. Of all animals… a poodle! That is just so gay!

But I had somehow flatly ignored the pictures on her desk and ended up asking in my typical subtle way.

When I do subtle, I usually open out with asking if I haven’t seen her at the local lesbian club or bar, or whatever famous lesbian event that even straight people knows about, or if that was her girlfriend / wife I saw her with “the other day”. (There were no other day)

So very subtle.

My so-called gaydar radar is right about 60% of the times, other times I have to give in and admit that women just like to dress and act hipster gay.

If they say that they aren’t gay, then I will change subject and complain about that.

I mean if anything, I can at least leave them with a sense of fashion insecurity.

But we got around several subjects in out chat, until she ended up asking me if it were true that I called them “boys” and if I didn’t know that it could be seen as offensive to some?

I replied with that when I did call them “boys” it usually were after they had called us “girls”, or somehow shortly after, and that I by the way didn’t really see the difference and felt it just as offensive to be called “a girl” by a guy who are younger than me.

She understood the point, but didn’t know what to do about it.

What do you think? Is it okay for the guys / men to call us “girls”, but it is not okay for us to call them “boys”?

 

 

“Singapore is a very pro gay and loving country!”

I had someone screaming, cursing and yelling at me and concluded that I only wrote that now infamous blog post to discredit Singapore, that Singapore is a very pro gay and loving country and I only used my niece to promote my “gay agenda” to foreigners.

First of all, I am sorry but the only ones who actually cared about that blog post were Singaporeans, less than 5% of the now more than 40,000 came from abroad so it was a storm in a very small glass of water. (The numbers are from wordpress stats, so they could be all wrong. No idea if they are or not..)

Besides if I wanted to discredit Singapore, then I would in no way whatsoever use young innocent family members.

The public Singapore already provided enough bullets to get our country to the list as one of the world’s most non accepting countries – yes another list where Singapore is in the top.

If any gay, bi or lesbian can overcome the social pressure for being what they are, then Singapore do offer some low key parties and watering places for likeminded. It is possible for a single gay man or a gay woman, to have a social life without getting stoned to death.

The risk of getting ridiculed or Stomped is still very high.

Coming out as transgendered in Singapore is pure hell from what I hear.

I have heard, but never experienced it myself, that some gay couples having an romantic evening out together were denied service on several occasions.

Singapore is MUCH better than Malaysia. I mean the religious police don’t kick in the doors to hotel rooms because two women rent a room together and get arrested because they are found in the vicinity of an unopened and unused vibrator.

Do the Malaysia authorizes classify it as an unstable dangerous object that can go off anytime soon? Did they need a bomb disposal crew to get it secured?

There are quite a number in the LGBT community who use the “don’t rock the boat” approach, just keep their heads down, and live a “productive” closeted life, and feel somehow happy about that life. Good for them.

The police after all don’t beat us up when PinkDot is celebrated, or throw us into “reformation” camps, so doesn’t that mean that Singapore is accepting??

I am sorry but no other civilized country has since WW2 decided to publicly ban and incinerate “gay themed” books from their libraries.

Do you really understand the bias that are against same-sex couples and what they have to go through to even get recognized in our country?

God help them if they have children together.

Can same-sex couples be allowed to buy an HDB together on the same level as heterosexual couples can?

Can same-sex couples be allowed to adopt?

Singapore is practically a closed country for expat same-sex couples. The energy and mountains that they need to move to get the partner in is stunning. Same-sex couples can’t get a Dependant’s Pass or a Long Term Visit Pass for their partners.  Well you can if you are an NUS scholar, but for a mere mortal couple, then it is impossible.

The wear white campaign. Do I need to say more about that? Do I need to mention that both Christian and Muslim leaders are actively warning about giving “us” gay’s any rights whatsoever, and they are still complaining about PinkDot.

A group of top religious and business leaders have funded an political active group with the focus to make sure that the politicians don’t change their pro “family value” view. Translated to “give LGBT’s any rights.”

The churches and local religious authorities actually spend more time discussing the LGBT community, than they do on discussing Singaporeans who join terrorist groups and activities, and how to prevent them from joining. Does that make us more dangerous than ISIS to them?

It’s perfectly fine for companies to terminate an employee if the person is gay, or at least history says that they can do so without any consequences.

What other country allows its current standing politicians to use anti gay slurs and online campaigns to remind the public that a contending politician is gay?

LGBT groups are not allowed to arrange a “Pink Run”. Because of the public interest. That means that Singaporeans will be upset if “we” run in a group, according to the Police. Eh?? What is disturbing about seeing a group of buff fit gay men running? That spectators might find it attractive and spontaneously run after with them?? (In a sound of music style of course)

I don’t know. Maybe it is our unicorn and rainbow superpowers that scares the police.

Do I need to mention the countless number of times where movies either have been banned, or is so heavily censored that they lost all meaning about the movie? That international singers and artists have been warned about their performances and told that they should not dare to sing songs that even hint about any “gayness”.

Singapore were the only country in the world who censored the absolutely best part of V for Vendetta when it came out. I am not sure if you now can get the full movie on DVD.  But who actually buy DVD’s today?

The A-Mei concert anyone?

Yes I got issues with 377A, but I got bigger issues about our media laws who states that it is illegal to advocate for homosexuality or lesbianism in online media.

ANY website local or foreign MUST register with MDA if they got content of homosexual nature (hold on. Might need to register….). That TV stations can’t have or promote gay characters in their show but still cherish local gay actors as long as they don’t admit openly that they are gay and get irritating about it – like publicly mentioning that they are living with a partner. Even the most obvious one(s) – and let’s not mention the fine for you know THAT kiss on Channel 5.

Or non-kiss, kiss….

I believe that Singapore is the only country that censored Glee for its gay and lesbian contents so much that they just as well could have skipped whole seasons of the show.

I got bigger issues with that straight people want to keep the country’s most boring public office to themselves – you know the one that can be found on 7 Canning Rise (it’s the Registry Of Marriage, also called ROM). I sometimes believe that they keep it that boring so they discourage too many to get married at the same time so they can Facebook some more.

Just imagine if PLU’s could get registered too. Public workers there would have no time to complain on blog posts they miss the point about.

But I want to get married with my partner in Singapore.

IKEA anyone….  Well yes IKEA owes me a gift basket because my blog post made everyone forget about them.  So pay up gentlemen.

Singapore. The world’s most gay accepting country.

hm..

It’s still a no. I don’t have an “agenda” or a “gay agenda”. But I still want to bitch and rant about our lack of basic rights.

And the fuck no. I would and will never use my niece to promote a cause like that. If you really believe so, then you missed every point there were in that post, and everything about this blog too by the way.

Oh just shut up and kiss me!

Was just reminded about the movie “Kyss Mig”, or as it is called in English “With Every Heartbeat”, in a comment to a blog post. I told her that I have seen the movie, but then began to think back about it and remembered that I only managed to watch about half of it before I turned it off again in irritation.

Disturbing movie!

Rubbish!

Irritating!

Told S… that I couldn’t see it because it were so horribly bad. Oh sweet, gorgeous, protective S… (ya ya I know that you are reading it, so don’t blush).

But then tonight I watched it again, and I realized why it was so disturbing to me.

And the movie turned out to be quite good. Cheesy ending.

I like cheesy romantic endings.

The movie reminded me about K… I mean the blonde actress. Shit… crap. looking at that blonde hair, those blue eyes and that Swedish voice. Absolutely horrible.

7ish years ago I met this amazing, strong, gorgeous Swede that simply swept me away and forever would be the one I would measure any other date and lovers with. She taught me to be me. She transformed me from a lesbian girl to a lesbian woman. She made everything inside me melt whenever I heard her voice, felt or smelled her. She made me forget any other lover that I had before her.

I simply couldn’t think if she were near me.

Pink fluffy clouds were just so real!

 

She broke up with me.

We didn’t talk for years.

But after a while, we began to stay in contact through emails and so. Met once in a while, but it were only years later that I could really stand to be in a room with her and relax again.

And then I introduced her to my at that time very straight colleague – and they f…. married each other!!! She moved to Sweden and is now living MY life! grrr

So I hated, absolutely hated “Kyss Mig”/ “With Every Heartbeat” and could not stand watching it because it reminded me what I was supposed to have.

Or part of me did. I don’t really have this obsessive stalker ex-girlfriend gene in me. Suffering in silence is more me. Or rather letting everyone know that I am suffering in silence and that I need support. Without wanting it of course.

Tonight I loved “Kyss Mig”. I watched it till the end and that “grrr” I used to have in body were gone, empty, finished, so I could see the movie for what it was without any baggage and didn’t have that “okay, this is just too close and too much, so I better turn it off now” kind of feeling.

The film is about two women. One is about to marry her long time boyfriend, and the other an out and proud lesbian is in her own relationship, but one evening, the two of them get together and sparks fly between them…. cue cupid, rainbows and unicorns.

A very typical “female nurse meets female doctor riding on a unicorn” kind of movie and even with more than decent acting. Some mishaps here and there and the love scenes were acceptable too (I have seen much worse). So a movie worth watching after all.

Thanks for reminding me about it.

 

 

 

If you want to ready more about K.. and my colleague, then you could read Drinks With Colleagues.

 

 

FOOD: Cold avocado and cucumber soup with salmon

This first little dish is a little tricky to describe because I make it mostly by touch and feel now.

You will need a blender or a food processor for the soup.

Cold avocado and cucumber soup with salmon is quick to make and is something that can impress your date or partner. It is by the way a dish that is fun to prepare together.

The soup can be kept cold in the fridge for a few days if you make too much of it and you can just as well drink it from a glass as a avocado cucumber smoothie. Just add more water to make it thinner.

(for two persons)

1 clove garlic
1/2 cucumber
1 avocado
1 dl (or cup) cream
50 grams of spinach
Juice from 2 normal sized lemons
zest from 1 organic lemon
zest from 1 organic orange
1 pinch cayenne pepper
½ teaspoon curry
1 tablespoon grainy mustard
1 bunch fresh dill
Tabasco as needed

Optional ½ bunch of mint leaves.

Garnish with dill or watercress.

2 pieces of salmon at about 120 grams each.

 

Soup

Peel the cucumber, zest the lemon and orange, and blend all the ingredients for the soup in a blender or a food processor. Add water but make sure that the soup stay thick-ish.

The white pith is bitter and unpleasant in both lemons and oranges, so avoid that when you grate/zest them and always make sure that you use organic lemons and oranges for this. If you don’t know how to grate a lemon, then the youtube video below explains it well.

Serve in two deep plates and keep them in the fridge until the salmon is done. Alternatively keep the blended soup in the fridge until the salmon is done and then prepare the plates while the salmon is resting.

 

The Salmon

Melt butter or use a nice type of olive oil in a frying pan. Season the salmon with salt and pepper. Don’t overdo the pepper and optionally squeeze a little bit of lemon juice over it. Place the salmon skin-side down. Fry for 2-3 minutes, then turn the salmon over and fry for a further 1-2 minutes, or until cooked through.

If you don’t know how to pan sear a salmon, then this youtube video explains how to do it in an easy way. It’s not that difficult and is easy to do if you keep an eye on it until you feel confident about it.

Let the salmon settle away from the pan for a minute or two before serving. But serve it while still warm.

Take the plates out of the fridge, place the warm salmon on top of the soup and garnish with either fresh dill or watercress and serve.

Everything takes about 10 to 15 minutes to do.

Books: Angel Fire by Gerri Hill

“A vacation out of the city sounds like just the ticket for Tori Hunter and Sam Kennedy. Joining their Dallas Police Department pals Casey O’Connor and Leslie Tucker in a rented RV, they set out for the New Mexico mountains—and on a collision course with a manhunt.

FBI agents Cameron Ross and Andrea Sullivan are tracking a deadly quarry in desolate territory. An ex-teammate from Cameron’s Special-Ops days is in deep hiding, planning who-knows-what to cap off a killing spree. With a hostage at stake and time running out, Cameron reluctantly agrees to outside help from women she doesn’t know…or trust.

In the crossover that fans have been clamoring for, it’s a heart-pounding race against time that challenges the courage and commitment of the exceptional women from Gerri Hill’s Hunter’s Way and Devil’s Rock Series.”

 

Gerri Hill is by far one of my favorite authors, and I will usually be the first in line to get her book when she publish something new.

Angel Fire, is the book that was demanded by her fans. It is the book that bought the characters from the Hunters series, and Devil’s Rock series together.

Unfortunately I am mixed about the book. I liked it, it was as usual well written, but I at the same time felt it were forced and wondered if it wouldn’t have been a better read if she solely had made it a book in the Devil’s Rock series and left the characters from the Hunters series out of it.

If you haven’t read her books before, then find her older works first. Not that it is bad and that you shouldn’t read it. It is a book that every book lover of lesbian books should read (read all her books), but it needs the background stories of the characters to be really appreciated.

The Internet zombie horde is here

Wow that was interesting.

Yesterdays overwhelming reaction to the post were quite a surprise and I ended up stressing my brother and his wife about it (and me too by the way).

Not that he didn’t agree with what I wrote in the post, but more the idea that his daughter, my niece, could end up as the primary focus of an hungry internet zombie horde that demanded to know all the ugly details.

 

More brainz pls!

 

I am not going to disclose the name of the school or the teacher. The schools management did side with the teacher and my niece had to accept her first (and hopefully only) detention. It is completely unfair of the school but I am not going to throw a young child out in front of a selfie needing crowd, where she will only end up in the center of two sides where they for all the wrong reasons focus on her, what she wrote and then afterward anally dissect if she wrote anything right or wrong out from an somehow adult perspective that got no interest in her wellbeing or person.

On forums and on Facebook this has been discussed at length where it were also concluded by, I guess straight people who don’t have any contact to the gay community at all, that “LGBT’s are known to sensationalize issues”, that I should post my IC, my full name, home address, employers name, my age, document the names of my niece and brother for verification, as well as give up the name of the school and teacher for documentation.

But if you are demanding all that, then you missed the point of the blog. I wrote about it to highlight the differences of what my nieces of the same age are going through. How different educational systems see personal essays (teachers are part of that system)  and give you something to think and reflect about. That is all. I mean maybe the educational system in Singapore is not so good or perfect after all.

It is not that important to name the teacher or the school. Are they idiots? Sure they are. But I would still feel bad about naming them even if they are part of an educational system that I feel are fundamentally wrong.

I got some overwhelming interesting and positive comments to the post, and I can fully accept that there are guys, men, like Tony who feel that we are a threat to his masculinity.

We really aren’t.

I got a nice email from an UK politician and I got an offer to send my niece to a liberal pro LGBT school in California (for a “tiny” amount of money of course).

The family are doing fine and do well on their own, but thanks for all comments and support.

Yes it is fine that not everyone agrees with me too and I can take the criticism, and dear Tony I will always be available to take an honest face to face argument on why there should be room for “someone” with a sexuality like mine and that “we” are no danger to anyone at all. Not you especially.

I don’t have an issue with people who don’t understand our need to be accepted, I get that it makes some feel uneasy when we are open about our sexuality, when we dare to show affection in public, or that some just don’t know what to do or behave when they are near an openly gay person (Beware! You will get a hug and we will infect you if you get too near), because new things and thoughts are just so darn scary to humanity.

My niece got an right to be anonymous for a little while longer, she got a right to just be the child she is and live a life where she or her parents don’t have to deal with someone who jump in front of them to take a selfie, immortalize them on instagram, or demand intimate details of their life’s.

Thank you for all the fish.

 

Now Internet. Just relax. There will be a new topic for you tomorrow to throw yourself at.

 

The difference between a gold star and detention

(There is an update to this post, that I feel that you should read after you have read this post.)

I got nieces (and nephews) in both Singapore and Netherlands(That’s Holland to some of you), as some of you who have followed my blog will know that my sister is living in Amsterdam, and my brother is still living in Singapore. They both got some amazing and wonderful children that I can’t help to adore – like they adore me. I mean what is there not to love about an aunt who constantly bribe with cupcakes, hugs and even got the patience to play console games with them?

One of my nieces in Amsterdam, wrote an essay about me and why I am the best Aunt someone ever could have, and that I by the way liked women (other girls to her), just like her teacher did and that she wished that I could live with them in Amsterdam because “mom is not as strict when she is visiting”.

She is the same who loudly told her class mates that she hope that I could marry her teacher, because “it would be so beautiful with two brides”. Yes I guess that in her optics, that if one dressed up bride is good, then two brides at a wedding would be more than twice as good.

Two brides is equal to two wedding cakes right? right??

That also lead to some awkward laughs between me and her teacher. I mean, it is on the same level as when your straight friends invite you to a dinner, and then desperately look for another lesbian for the dinner, to even the same-sex level, and then try to set the two of you up, because they only know the two of you.

Awkwardness.

Anyway, she in her essay described, from her view, my issues with some of my Singaporean family members, the divide it made, and that she hoped that everyone just could be good friends because she felt that it was unfair just because I liked “girls” and not “boys”.

Her essay gave her a gold star and an A.

My niece, my brothers daughter, in Singapore heard about that when they Skyped each other (or facetimed).

She is one of the shy and quiet ones who is often content with playing and reading by herself, but these two got some kind of magic connection that brings her out of her shell when they are together or skyping each other, and turns into one big blabber mouth when they are able to hang out. So when she heard that an essay about me got my niece in Netherlands a gold star, then the devil got into her because she absolutely did not want to be left behind in that game.

Yes, when I am on a group call with them on Skype, I always use clever tactics and don’t answer questions on who I like the most and so ;-) Super skill #129 you get when you have more than one niece or nephew who tend to ask leading questions.

“Describe a family member who inspire you”.
Was the topic for the essay.

My niece immediately jumped onto it and wrote about me, with inspiration from my niece’s essay in Netherlands.

She got an “F”, Fail, written with big red letters and a comment “Gays cannot be an inspiration in Singapore society!!”

That sweet little quiet girl, who hardly open her mouth unless she is spoken to, got crushed. But incredible enough, she also got pissed about her F and demanded an explanation in the class. Her teacher flatly told her to keep quiet and shut up, she refused and wanted to know why she got an F and I think for the first time in her life stood up to herself.

“You know why” was the only answer. She refused to budge, the teacher refused to give in, and so she ended up in detention for an essay that in Netherlands gave an A.

Brian, my brother were full of wonder. What in the world could have happen since they called him to the school. And then about her?

He rushed to the school worried that something have happened, only to be met with a little girl who couldn’t stop crying.

So what gives you an A in one country can sometimes give you an F in others. Something to think about, and wonder what that really means for the Singaporean society and the way we value the people who live in it.

 

(There is an update to this post, that I feel that you should read as well)