Same-sex couples needed for documentary in Singapore

Do you live in a same-sex relationship and would you as a couple be interested to participate in an interview where we are having a down to earth talk about your relationships, lifes, history and what it means to be living in a gay relationship in Singapore, infront of a camera?

I am looking for couples who have been living together for longer than a year and who is willing to invite a small crew into their home for a small interview series that I am planning to produce over the next months.  The interviews should take about 3 hours, maybe 5, of your day.

Write me on for more details.



A little song

I am sure that you already read “So… what is really going on in a same-sex wedding?“? Right?? I mean you do read all my posts don’t you???

Anyway you are forgiven if you missed that one.

But after I posted, then I got some several requests for what my uncle and family cooked up and made the whole family sing to me at the pre Christmas party in Netherlands, so I guess that could just as well share it with all of you.

For those who don’t know about Dutch Christmas, then it is a very serious event where you not only need to keep track about the 25th and 26th. No December 5th is also kinda important. Santa and his helper is coming to town on that date and since my sister is married to a guy who is half Danish, then we also sort of celebrate the 24th among us.

So stress – and overeating is what I can describe the month of December.

Before you see the lyrics for the song then “Vive la Vie” is a lesbian bar in Amsterdam. It is also french for “celebrate life” or “live life fully”.

I am S.J. It’s short for Sarah-Jane. I am most of the time just called Jane, or SJ by most people who know me. Guess Sarah-Jane is too long and exhausting for most people to say.


Vive La Vie S.J.
(Song based on Y.M.C.A by Village People)

Young girl, there’s no need to feel down
I said, young girl, pick yourself off the ground
I said, young girl, ’cause you’re in a new town
There’s no need to be unhappy

Young girl, there’s a place you can go
I said, young girl, when you’re short on your dough
You can stay there, and I’m sure you will find
many ways to have a good time

It’s fun to stay at v-i-v-e
It’s fun to stay at v-i-v-e

They have everything, for you to enjoy
You can hang out with all the girls

It’s fun to stay at v-i-v-e
It’s fun to stay at v-i-v-e

You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal
You can do what about you feel

Young girl, are you listening to me?
I said, young girl, what do you want to be?
I said, young girl, you can make real your dreams
But you got to know this one thing

No girl does it all by herself
I said, young girl, put your pride on the shelf
And just go there, to v.i.v.e
I’m sure they can help you today

It’s fun to stay at v-i-v-e
It’s fun to stay at v-i-v-e

They have everything for you girls to enjoy
You can hang out with all the girls

It’s fun to stay at v-i-v-e
It’s fun to stay at v-i-v-e

You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal
You can do what about you feel

Young girl, I was once in your shoes
I said, I was down and out with the blues
I felt no girl cared if I were alive
I felt the whole world was so tight

That’s when someone came up to me
And said, young girl, take a walk up the street
There’s a place there called v.i.v.e
They can start you back on your way

It’s fun to stay at v-i-v-e
It’s fun to stay at v-i-v-e

They have everything for you girls to enjoy
You can hang out with all the girls

v-i-v-e, you’ll find it at v-i-v-e

Young girl, young girl, there’s no need to feel down
Young girl, young girl, get yourself off the ground

v-i-v-e, you’ll find it at v-i-v-e

Young girl, young girl, there’s no need to feel down
Young girl, young girl, get yourself off the ground

v-i-v-e, just go to v-i-v-e

Young girl, young girl, are you listening to me?
Young girl, young girl, what do you wanna be?



She kisses like Tinkerbells Rainbows

I visited my friend in Brussels just a few days before Christmas. You might remember her as my “Chronically unemployed” friend from down the street in my earlier blog posts.

She is the one who find locked doors a personal insult, and before she moved to Brussels I have often suspected her to one day sprint around the building and climp the fence if I didn’t open the door fast enough for her, when I dared to insult her by locking the front door.

I guess that the best way to describe her is to just say that she is a real life “adult” version of a Luna Lovegood copy, with very white hair that seems to defy gravity – or 30% of it seems like it does, the rest is just all over the place in some sort of a cute artistic pixie way. She is simply the last flower power lesbian in the world and have a very strange funny way of talking and describing things when we are in private.

But earlier this year she stopped beeing chronically unemployed and began working for the European Union.

For an insane salary!

I mean one of those “OMG. You are SO going to pay for all the drinks this weekend and all the next year” salaries, and I think that if more European voters really got to know about the salary levels, then they would riot in the streets.

She got herself into a suit as well.

That is just kind a crazy when in all the time I have known her, she has been walking around in eco friendly hippie products that could make any environmentalist die with a happy smile on their face.

And now she even got a girlfriend that “kisses like Tinkerbells Rainbows”. It would then be all up to my imagination what that was supposed to mean? But I guess something really nice, that made her knees soft and her pelvic do some crazy moves while they kissed.

Or something like that.

Her new girlfriend really don’t like me staying over for the weekend and mastered the passive aggressive look of “oh I am SO NOT going to leave the two of you alone for one minute this weekend” to a perfection, and every time they showed eah other affection or kissed each other in front of me, then I got the “die!!” look from her.

And yes, with at least two exclamation marks.

Guess my stay were going to be as short as possible.


And then you thought that I would get to the point of this blog post right? Well, I lost track of what it was that I wanted to say, saved the post and took off to my christmas vacation with my sisters and brothers family in Amsterdam, and forgot all about the point, this message and what in the world that I wanted to tell you.

So I could either just delete it, keep it until I remembered what it was that I wanted to say, or post it. So I posted it mainly because I loved the headline and didn’t know what else to write with a topic like that.

Oh it were something about new girlfriends and lesbian BFF’s. I’ll remember it later.


Life Partners – Movie (Maybe NSFW)

I need your help!

A month or so ago I were so lucky to see Life Partners (Yes, I bought it on iTunes), and as an Indie movie I liked it. Yes, yes, it did have its flaws, but it wouldn’t hurt me (or you) to see it more than once.

That made me also think about how difficult can it really be to skip all the straight people and just make a great lesbian feel-good movie that doesn’t suck?

Or just any lesbian movie with good – or semi good acting and an okay script. This one had lots of lesbian characters in it, and they could all act quite well – or at least “ok”. So someone please get going!! I will even support your kickstarter campaign if you need me to. Yes, Yes I might be greedy and have seen almost all mentioned on this list here. But more would be nice.

What I spend most time thinking and discussing with others about this movie, were that if anyone knew the rules for the “Sword Fight” game, that they did in the club some 20 minutes into the movie, and what they might be – and if that was something real at all?

When my sister got to know about it immediately asked “Is that really what you do when you go out?” with that “my crazy little sister has completely lost it now” voice…


Life Partners #2

See I am hot and all purple. What more do you want?


So both participats got to wear strap-on’s on a stage – and is fully dressed. But then what? How do you play? Who would win? How can you win? Or is that one of these “everyone wins” kind of games that I just hate to play?

If I am playing any kind of game, then I am playing to kick your butt and if I once in a blue moon loose in a game that I know that I can win in, then I will not speak to you for a week!


Life Partners #1





If she is in the closet, then you are in the closet. Or are you?

Dating a closeted is hard work.

I mean can you hold hands in public? Do you need to think about when to show affection? When are you able to call her dear or darling in public? Are you up to date with all her relatives, friends and co-workers so you can take one step away from each other when you happen to bump into one of them, when you are shopping for cheap wine together at 2am?

So, you just met (the new) miss perfect. Rainbows are brighter, you can ignore strangers or friends kids when they want to be picked up by you just because  you feel so damn giddy inside of yourself. You can smile to the world. You can even smile to the ones who are soo busy looking at your [insert body part here], that they don’t see your smile or that your face shine of bliss. You don’t even feel like screaming at the worst ones.

Okay something felt a little off, you told her on your second date, the day after your first date,  your coming out story and how you were able to handle the world and then were only met with silence and a stare when you waited for her coming out story.

And then she said “uhm, I am not really out to anyone important yet”

She is really amazing, smart, funny and talented in her own way. I mean so much that you halfway made room for her things in your nest, last night while you talked on the phone.

But then there is doubt.

Can you really handle to date someone who has made a life in the closet, when you have fought long and hard to get out of it yourself?

Does it really mean that you have to go through all your things and pack them down.

No more She+She tee’s. No more “gay” bracelets or earrings and begin to panic about if you really got any clothes that does not in one way or another say “gay” about you??

Is my blue jeans and white v-neck t-shirt too gay for everyday use if we just need to go down to the local cafe?


Some years ago this happened to me and I got to think about it again, when I called a friend to wish her a happy new year and in great details told her about my very crappy New Years eve because I had to urgently work, and then ended up with some people from the profession to celebrate a little bit with.

She of course had an amazing night at the place that I should have celebrated at and where she then ended up with someone who is now supposed to be the love of her life. Well, with the exception that her newfound love is closeted and Iranian (not that being an Iranian is bad), so her family will not, or might have a harder time accepting that she is gay compared to the rest of the world.

How do you handle dating someone closeted?

Are you supporting, can you wait for her without pressuring her to come out faster that she would be comfortable with?

Me? Well, I am absolutely the worst person in the world.

I am horrible, horrible, horrible when it comes to emotional and personal support to someone who is so deep in the closet that she decorated it with puff chairs and painted the closet walls in soothing colors.

I get panic attacks.

I tend to over complicate things and simply try out of the good of it, to be more in the closet myself and will get a rotating neck just for her, while I am on the look for someone she might know when we go out.

And at the same time I will also feel that I am going to explode in frustrations because she is not getting out fast enough.

Guess it is the u-haul person in me who want her to be everything with me, and that I know that she can’t be that person as long as she is not getting out.

So yes, I am just the crazy selfish person who will be supportive until I explode in frustrations and simply leave her, because I am so afraid of getting pulled back into the closet when I had to fight with so many (myself included) to really feel free of it myself.