Into the heart of the European Union

I have just completed a meeting in the heart of the European Union.

A so-called informal meeting with public workers representing unnamed ministers (yes, some were briefly named, but you know, into one nervous ear, out of the other), who had heard about my views among other, from my not so any longer chronically unemployed friend, who mindbogglingly had landed a job there. I mean for the most of the time I have known her, she had been without or working in temp jobs because permanent jobs “were a disturbance to her creativity and personal space”. But there she was, lesbian dogs and all, moving to Brussels to do her I believe first real job.

Just walking into that place felt in more than one way intimidating to me.

“We just want to hear other voices too, and you come greatly recommended,”

It’s not what I know what these recommendation were about or if my friend there have been lying out of her behind on behalf of me, but some things is impossible to say no thank you to, so I went there with few expectations and the knowledge in the back of my mind that there are meetings between the EU and Singapore these days.

I know that last minute meetings with me will not change any views on how the EU and Singapore will be negotiating at all but an invitation is an invitation, and I presumed the coffee would be good.

Never found out about the coffee, but the mineral water were excellent, so I guess all the money that is put into the European Union have been invested well until now.

The trip here were also a perfect break to stop thinking and working on the Malaysian Airlines airplane that got shot down over Ukraine, where I ended up spending the first hours and days in Schiphol and the Amsterdam area talking to distressed relatives of the victims and people who felt and continue to feel more and more helpless, angry and frustrated about politicians, different governments and the whole situation in general, that also affected me more than I really want to admit to myself.

So having a day where my mind only needed to focus on a few direct things, Homosexuality and Human Rights in Singapore, were great.

Not great as in “Yay! let’s jump up and down in excitement”, but great as in I didn’t need to think or focus on other things and actually could talk to and explain my views to people who were able to listen without prejudice and in return were able to ask very qualified questions back.

Oh yes, we discussed discrimination and racism of European Citizens in Singapore as well. But that is a story for another day.

But I guess talking and telling about homosexuality and discrimination based on sexual orientation to straight people is very much like describing how the color blue looks like to a blind person, no matter how well meaning they are.

Anyway, it was interesting but at the same time mentally hard to sit and talk to 5 people, where I only knew 1 of them before, for almost 2½ hours that initially were planned to only last 1. No, it was not like I was grilled for information, and everything was done in a business relaxed cum casual environment, but having this many people sit in front of me, listening and at the same time throwing questions back without a break were in the end exhausting.

It’s time to relax for today.



The week of a thousand weirdness

I just taught everyone in the office to say “Heteronormative” and I am feeling proud of myself because of that.

Well if you have read the post that you can’t read yet, because it got stuck in my draft folder on this blog, then you would have known that I am on a “temp” loan to a sister company that is run by an old colleague – who on the first day proudly outed me in front of 17-20 people in the Amsterdam office.

Not that I am not out of the closet, but honestly not really a person who stand up on a soap box announcing my sexuality to the world either.

So my first day there were to say it as it was – odd.

Odd in a way that the first question I got from the person sitting opposite me first said “I really didn’t know that Asians really could be lesbians too.”

On another note.

My aunt and uncle have come out of hiding after their son announced that he was going to marry an Australian as soon as it is possible. An Australian guy that is.

But they are now back in full glory again and demanded that I make an effort to ungay myself, and that I stop being disruptive to the family and their reputation. Apparently I am a very bad influence to my Singaporean relatives and my siblings (who are several years older than me) with my lifestyle and attitude, and so, my Uncle and Aunt feel it is important that I correct myself.

Since I guess it removes theses uncomfortable questions about their own gay son.

I don’t know.

Speaking about Singapore…

Things in Singapore have become more than weird. Lately book burning of Children books that for some reason or another were branded as homosexual or had a gay agenda.

Imagine that. Burning children books and simply banning all homosexual books in public libraries and a government that publicly support it and stand behind burning and destruction of books, because something might have some homosexual vibe about them?

I mean when was the last time that you have heard about that?

1933, Books got burned because they did not comply with a narrow world view. Shortly (or immediately) after, Pink Triangles were introduced. Will Singapore not learn anything from History?

In 1933’s Germany?

Or in more recent times Taliban and IS(IS) occupied areas.

And now also in Singapore.

Of other more absurd demands were separate public toilets for homosexuals in Singapore, that I believe began as an ironic thought but that a larger group of Singaporeans actually took serious and is now demanding that it becomes a reality.

Unkept public toilets in Singapore are also the fault of homosexuals now by the way.

But imagine the next time that you visit Singapore and that you need to urgently find a toilet. Male, Female or Gay?

Of more positive notes. Human Rights groups around the world have begun to move and is now asking both the UN, the European Union and their local governments what their stand is on Singapore’s most recent actions.

Unfortunately I believe that for the European Union, the matter of money is more important to them than Human Rights is.

That is until the day that the Singaporean government demand that we wear Pink Triangles on all of our clothes so we easier can be identified.


(I wrote this a week ago. Been too busy with the more recent events in the world, that I haven’t had time to post anything before today)

Do you (lesbians) hate men?

I guess it is Q&A week. But got this question a few days ago when I was having an outrageous dinner with some potential new female colleagues and possibly partners that I would like to answer in public and as honestly and truthfully as I can. Almost without any irony.

“Do you lesbians hate men?”

First of all. I feel that this is the number one face palm question of everything that I have ever been asked.

I can’t really answer for everyone in the world, but I can answer for myself, and no, I do not h-a-t-e men. But to generalize; I quite often find it easier to be friends with guys, than with many women, whom I feel have a tendency to overcomplicated simple things, just as I sometimes do myself. YES to those who know me. I did say SOMETIMES!

Well, that is when men in general have gotten over the outrageously shocking news that I got boobs and a body and all that, but men are generally somehow simpler to be friends with I feel.

I have to admit that we lesbians do have a tendency to cling or band together and can get overly internal in our communications, so we after a while forget about how the straight world communicates. Sometimes we misunderstand what you as a male mean or what your intentions are and we get defensive or feel offended as a coping mechanism. Therefore many of us without really thinking about it end up having only lesbian and gay friends simply because communication is different and sometimes easier when you don’t have to think about translating into to straight peoples language. Yes, we the Sappho lesbians from outer space have another language when we are not trying to blend into the straight people population, where we by the way only go to when we need to lure more “so-called” straight women to join our flock – all part of the secret plan to take over The World Singapore.

And now that I have alienated every female friendship that I got, and is getting calls from everyone, asking what it is I mean about them, then “Of cause it is not you my dear”, “it is all the others. You are my friend, so I don’t mean you”. “Right?”

I have a brother, that I (for the most of the time) don’t hate either.

I don’t differ between my nieces and nephews, who adore me like there are no tomorrow and who often Skype me just to tell me that I am the best (true story). So besides being super aunt for my siblings children, then I am actually able to be in the room with the male gender without I get to feel odd ticks in my face or swing the rainbow colored (yes it IS a color) flag around just to spite you.

So in short, no we(I) don’t really hate men, I can get irritated about the unending questions about being lesbian, if I sometimes miss a penis?, who the guy is in the relationship?, and no, I don’t really find the statement that you as a male is a lesbian in a male body fun at all either.

But in the end all I can say is that



Homo hurt

You meet an acquaintance that you know is lesbian. Not a real friend, just one you know – because you have several times seen her at the local lesbian club that you sometimes frequent. Not really one that you know well, but maybe at a minimum have exchanged glances with and nodded “hi!” at each other, and maybe even mildly remember a rather long but foggy conversation between each other. So one that you know, who knows that we both are gay.

… and then halfway expect that she is friendly when you bump into her at the new supermarket that you decided to visit. Well, you know, because we are both gay of course, so we should have something in common to talk about.

I mean our common interest in women should be more than enough for a “hi, what are you getting today?”


I am mildly obsessively interested in knowing what other people have in their shopping trolleys, so when I see someone that I know, even just a little, then I find it is okay to say “hi” and get the conversation going until I feel that I can ask what it is that they are getting (That’s usually right after my “hi”).

But ended up getting mildly hurt because she is arrogant? or absolutely didn’t feel any need to even acknowledge me, or that we had something in common and could talk – or just reply with a “hi”.