It’s the straight peoples fault?

I have heard it more than once lately. “It’s the straight peoples fault”. This time it was when I was sitting in the airport waiting for the flying bus to bring me back when I overheard a conversation between two ladies, that I firmly believe who is gay, well, simply because I had strategically placed myself within hearing distance of what they were talking about. Not because of magic beans, my super functioning gaydar, or their looks, which were fine by the way.

But walking over to the gate, I overheard the word “cis-women”, and I thought to myself “Hello! I need to listen to that!!”, yes I am shameless and I know all about it. But there are only a small group in this world who talk about cis-women or mention the word, and I should really be one of them. If I could stand that term. “CIS” that is.

Anyway, that is for another blog post.

I am not going to bore you with their who’s hot or not conversation, but what I found interesting was their discussion about whose fault it is that there are so few lesbian bars or cafe’s and why there are so many gay bar’s compared to lesbian bars.

Their immediate conclusion was that it was the straight peoples fault.

Not lesbians own fault, but that straight people did it to all of us!

I have heard it before and from other parts of the world too. If “our” hangout place is closing down, then it is not because of poor financials and lack of paying guests, but because straight people are mean people.

Eh, straight people = men.


In these kind of conversations.

I mean aren’t men the root of all evil when even a small group of lesbians gang together? – Well and then it is almost mandatory to hate all bi women too, if just a single of us have an issue with those who have an issue deciding what team they now want to support.

But is it really?

I have hardly seen any guys at a lesbian bar, and those few I see, once in a blue moon, are usually quite subdued or quiet. So how can it be their fault at all?

Isn’t it our own damn fault that there are so few lesbian bars and cafe’s for us? I always hear discussions about that we should protect our personal watering places, but it is always while we are sitting somewhere else and talking about it.

Today, we can freely hold hands in any random cafe without anyone hardly say anything about it – yes there might come a look or two, and sometimes some idiot might ruin it, but that does not happen often.

But I think that we. Yes, WE, are horrible people when it comes to supporting our places. And as soon as we – or a lot of us – find the one, or the next one in our life’s, then we go into our nesting mindset and refuse to leave our nest before we absolutely have to.

It’s not like that with gay men where they even as a couple urgently need to go out almost every second weekend and show of their oily bods and their partners to anyone else who is interested to hear about it, and even better if there is a lot of alcohol involved.

No, we, we get our lesbian dogs or kittens. We dress the dog(s) outrageously lesbian, and then we go into shopping mode at IKEA (if you haven’t banned it), or somewhere else, like these small knickknack shops where you can find everything that your heart and credit card demands that you need for your cave, and simply stop thinking about that place where you met her who is now the one and only in your life.

I am just as bad. And I am horrible good at nesting, even on my own too.

And even sometimes had that argument with myself that if I on a sexy Friday evening should go out with the girls, or go for a run on my own and then afterwards nest in with that nice cup of coffee or tea. And guess WHAT I ended up choosing.

Horrible, Horrible, Horrible.

Well, yes, I do need to urgently go out and dance once in a while. But with shame I have to admit that I am not a good Lesbian when it comes to supporting lesbian themed cafe’s. But I am better at lesbian bars / night clubs.

A little better.

I believe that the reason for why there are so few clubs, is that we don’t spend enough money where we should and don’t support them well enough and only manage to sit together and complain about it when it is over and done.

So blaming men for the reason that there are so few lesbian clubs, is like blaming Obama for the weather, or if you are in Singapore, blaming Caucasians for why you didn’t get that promotion, or that your life is horrible.


First Kiss!

20 people who had never met before, were filmed as they were put in pairs and had to kiss each other for the first time.

The first kiss between two strangers got documented in an amazing video and has to date been seen by more than 6 million people on Youtube.

You have to be unusually tough or thickskinned if you didn’t feel something after watching it. I felt like going out and ask the first (woman) on the street that I met to give me a kiss.

Oh well, just see it here and judge for yourself.

(Warning! Straight people are kissing in the video below, so don’t click on the video if you can’t handle the emotional distress that it might cause you)

Yes, I guess I miss that akward first kiss when you are going to kiss a stranger for the first time, and the only that you can think about is if you had too much garlic earlier. And if she is a good kisser!

Lesbian you say? Well, I am sorry but then you are going to die!

There are 10 countries in the world that you should avoid going to, as being lesbian there, is punishable with death.

  1. Yemen
  2. Iran
  3. Iraq
  4. Mauritania
  5. Nigeria
  6. Qatar
  7. Saudi Arabia
  8. Somalia
  9. Sudan
  10. United Arab Emirates

Isn’t it just crazy scary? So utterly creepy. I mean, just think about it .

Death by hanging just because you are you – or me?

The only thing you did wrong was to love the one you love and then someone else might come up to you and say “Sorry, but you must die, right, now!(!!)”. Just imagine that.

Gay men has it harder than lesbians in the world – I guess that gay men must just be crazy scary for straight people. But there are, nevertheless, according to data on ( International Lesbian , Gay, Bisexual , Trans and Intersex Organization ) several countries where “female to female relationships ” can cost you 10 + years in prison – or up to life, if you dared to hold your lovers same sex hand in public (Iran).

Just imagine that!

By the way! If you haven’t seen this post that I made earlier, then you should take a look at the video, that was posted there, NOW!

Speaking about all this.

I immediately wrote a Saudi freelancer that I have been working with, on, on and off projects, asking him a “WTF” question about his country.

“Hey, are your country killing lesbians just for being lesbians?”,

“No, we only stone them. If they die, then it is only a byproduct of their sins”.

“Uhm, you know that I am Lesbian right”.

“Yes, but you are not Muslim” and a little while later “And I can overlook it, since you are paying my salary” and even later “And that you do not look lesbian”.

hmm, that was good to know.

I think.

Speaking about that list. I had no idea that there even were a country called Mauritania?? I usually don’t think that I am that hopeless when it comes to geography. I am sure that I won’t be visiting them anytime soon anyway, so no loss there.

And, by personal detailed investigation, then I can firmly tell you that there are a rather “large” gay and especially lesbian population in Dubai, who is located in United Arab Emirates. But after reading about this, and that raped women can go to prison, simply for being a rape victim. Then I make sure that I will not even make a transit landing there.

But it is a scary thought that for some people and whole countries out there, that if you are a lesbian, then you must die just because you are who you are.

Will Singapore soon follow Uganda??

Sigh, working through the internet to find a cheap ticket for my return to Singapore.

I was supposed to book it last Thursday, but because I was sick, something that continued well into the weekend and ruined it for me, then I didn’t get around to open up the browser to search for a ticket. Yes, I did have time and energy for Literotica, Online shopping – and window shopping for new clothes and books, but just didn’t get around to search for a ticket…


But then, while I am searching for a ticket that I am willing to pay for, then I began to wonder. “Do I really want to go back?”, not only for the next couple of days, but I mean, actually move back home again?? I mean not only so I can outrageously flirt with you know who you are, but to get home and get my place dust free as well – among other.

Yes, I miss Singapore every day these days and as soon as I land, then I will be spending the next couple of days in a hawkercenter fattening myself up in everything that I at that time can think of. Even hearing the Singaporean accent again gives me a little joy.

But at some point in my own thoughts, I come around to Associate Professor Khairudin Aljunied, who linked likened lesbianism to “cancers” and the fantastic weak reply from the NUS (National University of Singapore), about his Facebook update. Something that is remarkable compared to the number of gay staff at NUS and the support Singapore’s gay community in general gets from that age group who NUS is trying to attract. I can’t help comparing that to what I have to deal with from some of my relatives from mom’s side, as well as the number of unread mails that I got from them, that I have in my inbox and that I just don’t want to open and read these days.

Of course there is also the thing with Oogachaga and Gay male magazine Element who decided in their own glory to support IKEA and nominate IKEA Singapore for a gay award even though IKEA recently decided to censor an article about a lesbian couple, where Element “It’s not our problem, it is the lesbian communitys problem” magazine and it’s all male panel of judges didn’t feel bad about nominating them at all. So what I can be sure about, is that in Singapore, lesbians and gay men does not stand together fighting for the same rights at all.

And I just don’t freaking understand how Oogachaga – a counseling and support NGO for the LGBT community just can say “Who cares about Lesbians, we focus on Gay men”, when their mission statement is trying to embrace everyone who need support.

So some parts of me is saying “Yay I am going home!”, while other parts of me is thinking “Meh, isn’t life better here where I am now?”, because it feels like Singapore is moving closer and closer to Uganda’s stand on Homosexuality and further and further away from Netherlands accepting stand.