I have heard it more than once lately. “It’s the straight peoples fault”. This time it was when I was sitting in the airport waiting for the flying bus to bring me back when I overheard a conversation between two ladies, that I firmly believe who is gay, well, simply because I had strategically placed myself within hearing distance of what they were talking about. Not because of magic beans, my super functioning gaydar, or their looks, which were fine by the way.
But walking over to the gate, I overheard the word “cis-women”, and I thought to myself “Hello! I need to listen to that!!”, yes I am shameless and I know all about it. But there are only a small group in this world who talk about cis-women or mention the word, and I should really be one of them. If I could stand that term. “CIS” that is.
Anyway, that is for another blog post.
I am not going to bore you with their who’s hot or not conversation, but what I found interesting was their discussion about whose fault it is that there are so few lesbian bars or cafe’s and why there are so many gay bar’s compared to lesbian bars.
Their immediate conclusion was that it was the straight peoples fault.
Not lesbians own fault, but that straight people did it to all of us!
I have heard it before and from other parts of the world too. If “our” hangout place is closing down, then it is not because of poor financials and lack of paying guests, but because straight people are mean people.
Eh, straight people = men.
In these kind of conversations.
I mean aren’t men the root of all evil when even a small group of lesbians gang together? – Well and then it is almost mandatory to hate all bi women too, if just a single of us have an issue with those who have an issue deciding what team they now want to support.
But is it really?
I have hardly seen any guys at a lesbian bar, and those few I see, once in a blue moon, are usually quite subdued or quiet. So how can it be their fault at all?
Isn’t it our own damn fault that there are so few lesbian bars and cafe’s for us? I always hear discussions about that we should protect our personal watering places, but it is always while we are sitting somewhere else and talking about it.
Today, we can freely hold hands in any random cafe without anyone hardly say anything about it – yes there might come a look or two, and sometimes some idiot might ruin it, but that does not happen often.
But I think that we. Yes, WE, are horrible people when it comes to supporting our places. And as soon as we – or a lot of us – find the one, or the next one in our life’s, then we go into our nesting mindset and refuse to leave our nest before we absolutely have to.
It’s not like that with gay men where they even as a couple urgently need to go out almost every second weekend and show of their oily bods and their partners to anyone else who is interested to hear about it, and even better if there is a lot of alcohol involved.
No, we, we get our lesbian dogs or kittens. We dress the dog(s) outrageously lesbian, and then we go into shopping mode at IKEA (if you haven’t banned it), or somewhere else, like these small knickknack shops where you can find everything that your heart and credit card demands that you need for your cave, and simply stop thinking about that place where you met her who is now the one and only in your life.
I am just as bad. And I am horrible good at nesting, even on my own too.
And even sometimes had that argument with myself that if I on a sexy Friday evening should go out with the girls, or go for a run on my own and then afterwards nest in with that nice cup of coffee or tea. And guess WHAT I ended up choosing.
Horrible, Horrible, Horrible.
Well, yes, I do need to urgently go out and dance once in a while. But with shame I have to admit that I am not a good Lesbian when it comes to supporting lesbian themed cafe’s. But I am better at lesbian bars / night clubs.
A little better.
I believe that the reason for why there are so few clubs, is that we don’t spend enough money where we should and don’t support them well enough and only manage to sit together and complain about it when it is over and done.
So blaming men for the reason that there are so few lesbian clubs, is like blaming Obama for the weather, or if you are in Singapore, blaming Caucasians for why you didn’t get that promotion, or that your life is horrible.